kuroiyousei’s exhaustively complete bio

Names: kuroiyousei is my artistic handle, and as such I consider it as real a name as anything legal and used face-to-face. Yes, it’s composed of Japanese words (I write it 黒いよう精, in case you’re curious), but this is not meant to indicate any kind of preoccupation with Japanese culture. I just happen to have written a lot of fanfiction in a Japanese setting, and I think the name looks and sounds good. You’ll also see me using Black Faery sometimes, and occasionally referring to myself as “this faery.”

In “real life” my name is Robin. I’m fond of it because it’s a nice bird and a nice set of heroes that follow Batman around. It’s my middle name, used because my first, Jennifer, though a nice enough name, is ridiculously common, especially among women of my age. And speaking of which…

Birthdate: September 2, 1980. I’ll be in my 40’s soon; how cool is that!

Gender and sexuality: Cis female (she/her), graysexual lesbian. I identified as bisexual for several years (after the usual heterosexual confusion of youth), and would probably currently i.d. as bi or pansexual if I didn’t so loathe what our society raises men to be. Ugh. In any case, not all that much into sex.

Religion: Art-worship, and apatheist in regard to a conscious god. I revere the connection of human minds and spirits through artistic expression, the potential of art to improve both individuals and societies, and the elevation of thought and emotion that comes from experiencing and creating art.

I’m also involved in certain art-related magical practices that are more a discipline and source of interest than a religion or source of spirituality.

Most important thing in my life: Writing. This should be no surprise after the above. A secondary consideration is my beloved pets (see below).

Profession: Veterinary technician. Currently I’m the designated Cat Lady at a non-profit spay/neuter clinic, and it’s a lot of fun.

Pets: I have two official pets and an honorary third. The first is Tokio, a lovely, elegant, and gentle domestic short hair that came to me on a cold December night many years ago:

Then there’s Galileo (the honorary pet, since he technically belongs to my brother), a Very Silly Bean who was a stray and now wall-jumps around our house:

And most recently, Hiko, a Maltese-poodle mix (maltipoo) I got from a rescue that loves to jump and play with him dinosaur and wag him tail and lick him kitty’s ear:

I post a ridiculous number of photos of these three in my Two Weeks In Photos entries, should you happen to want to see more of them.

Hobbies: I enjoy drawing, and indulge in it more seriously (i.e. spend more money on it) than my level of talent perhaps justifies. I like making games in RPG Maker (VX Ace, in case you’re curious), though I’ve never yet made one available for public consumption. I love reading (and collecting) tarot cards. I play a lot of Dominion with my family (house rules), and like designing new cards for that.

Favorites: First know that, because art is so important to me, I keep a bi-weekly Art Experience Log that is a not-very-well organized and often very truncated record of my reaction to the art I experience. But for specific lists…

Books: The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, Watership Down by Richard Adams, and Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott are my top three that don’t tend to change. After those, I love nearly everything by Edgar Allan Poe, J.K. Rowling (by any name), Rick Riordan, Jane Austen, the Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters, the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett, and more. Lots more.

Manga: I love Saiyuki (in its variety of subtitles), Kuroshitsuji, and just about anything by Yoshinaga Fumi. My all-time favorite used to be Rurouni Kenshin, of course, but, though I still love it, I find my enjoyment of it has been tainted.

Anime: Shoujo Kakumei Utena is far and away my #1 favorite anime. GetBackers is one of the few anime I like better than the manga it’s based on, and Bishoujou Senshi Sailormoon (original series, not dumbass Crystal) is a second. Tiger & Bunny is another beloved title.

Western television: I love anything animated with Batman in. I’m currently following Brooklyn 99 and Steven Universe. Older favorites include The 10th Kingdom, The Boondocks, both Avatar series, Disney’s Gargoyles, and some older, less artistic but more nostalgic things from my childhood including He-Man and She-Ra and Jem and the Holograms.

Movies: I love anything animated with Batman in. Other good ones are The Princess and the Pauper, Clue, Megamind, Zootopia, and the new Star Wars installments. My movie-watching is sparse and eclectic (though skewed toward animation and musicals), and I go into severe anaphylaxis at nearly all book adaptations.

Music: I’m easily bored, but I love almost anything that doesn’t bore me. Some favorites (or at least artists/bands that have enough non-boring songs to be listed here) include Barenaked Ladies, David Bowie, Coheed and Cambria, Dream Theater, Flo Rida, Gackt, Adam Gontier (with or without Three Days Grace), Michael Jackson, Toby Keith, L’Arc~en~Ciel, PSY, Rammstein, Shakira, Sting, System of a Down, and Toto.

I think that’s all I have to say about myself for now! Probably more than enough, eh? ;D

Stupid medical shit and a dream about Loki

I’m actually only making this entry to describe the funny dream I recently woke up from, but since I am making it, I might as well talk about what’s going on while I’m at it. I’ll get to the dream in a minute here.

So last week (to coincide wonderfully with my deep sadness in regard to the decision I made), I was experiencing abdominal pain. Because I have multiple conditions that give me abdominal pain on a regular basis, I didn’t pay much attention, but I did notice it was getting worse. Eventually, on Friday, it had gotten bad enough (and had been increasing consistently enough) to give me some concern. So I went to the doctor, who referred me to a hospital for ultrasounds. And it turns out I have gall bladder stones and need to have the whole silly thing removed.

The doctor’s referral office set me up an appointment for today with a surgeon, and Friday to Wednesday seemed like a long time to wait — especially when they warned me very carefully what symptoms should send me to the emergency room over the weekend — but whatevs. I would wait. However, I wasn’t aware until Monday that I’d been misled by ‘appointment with a surgeon,’ and that this is just a consultation. I have no idea, as yet, when I can actually have this surgery, and an unknown period seems like an even longer time to wait. Because meanwhile, the pain continues to increase, and has with it that general feeling of ill health I hate so much and some nausea on the side, not to mention a lot of emotional distress that may have something to do with last week’s decision as well.

So I’m in too much pain to go to work, but not enough pain (yet) to go to the emergency room. I’m losing money every day, I don’t know how long this will continue, and Poe only knows how much I’m going to be out for the consultation visit (typically my specialist copay is $75) and the surgery itself (last year’s mass removal with no more than a local anesthetic ran me $500). I already had to pay $150 for the doctor’s appointment and the ultrasounds on Friday. Fucking gall bladder. I’m literally selling stocks in preparation for the next however long. AND MEANWHILE I’M STILL IN PAIN.

I was in no frame of mind to get any writing done over the weekend, though yesterday I wrote, like, four sentences on BC 22 (itself part of an entirely different emotional kettle of fish or maybe kettle of emotional fish). I’ve been working on my current RPG Maker project and a picture of two dogs, and watching a lot of Superman: The Animated Series. Just killing time, basically, until I can get this small and expensive bonfire removed from my side.

OK, but what I really came for. I had this dream:

These two minor gods were in some kind of trouble, and I was trying to get them out of it. But it was beyond my power, so I went to Loki for help — knowing full well it was a bad idea, but she was the only god I could actually communicate with. I explained the situation and asked if she would lend a hand.

As Loki replied, images appeared behind her as if she were running a slide show in the background illustrating everything she had to say. “I could help these two minor gods,” she said. “We could do such-and-such, and then talk to so-and-so, and get them out of their jam.” And the slide show demonstrated these potential actions.

Or…” she went on with a smirk, “I could turn them in for a bounty, and that would piss off…” And the slide show started scrolling rapidly through the images of every god in multiple pantheons, line after line after line of them, presumably listing all the many people who would be pissed off by Loki’s choice to betray these two minor gods. And it was pretty clear which option she was going to take.

The slide show thing and Loki’s smartassedness was so funny that I even laughed in the dream despite the situation having been made worse by my choice to go to her for help. I find it so funny in waking life that I had to write it down even though I haven’t logged a dream in a very long time.

And now back to my regularly scheduled suffering.

Edit: I have surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning. I’m so relieved to get it scheduled so soon, I haven’t been able to stop crying.