May 17, 1995 Jacy has decided she i$ no longer going to put up with Justin and Kyle, so not only is $he not eating lunch with us and generally hanging out with us, $he is not aknowledging the pre$cense or even the very existance of the guy$. Roger used to be going along with it, but $he’s not anymore. Jacy has really offended me in that $he thinks $he can be rude to my friend$ and even my boyfriend and that I’m just going to ACCEPT it and blow it off. I have also been gripped with a $tupid and unreasonable feeling of guilt about the whole thing becau$e it wa$ me who brought Jacy into the group in the first place! And I can do nothing about it. All the$se combined with little food, le$$ $leep, a sick feeling in my stomach and a final coming up in my next class, made me feel utterly MISERABLE during lunch, and I really couldn’t take it and I just broke down and cried, a thing I haven’t done at school for I don’t know how long. Ju$tin asked me what was wrong and I told him part of it. I wanted to tell him everything, but it’s very hard for me to talk when I’m crying. And he just held me and didn’t ask any question$. It made me feel so much better. I don’t know how I would have LIVED through thi$ if he hadn’t been there. I never knew anyone in the world could comfort me so much $o fast. I’d ALWAYS felt that I could go to him if $omething went wrong, but I never imagined how wonderful he can be. As for the la$t however long it’s been $ince I wrote, many things have happened to further beautify life. A while back Justin, Jared and I went to a concert of Penelope’s and Roger’s. We rode home on Roger’s bus. I wa$ laying with my head on his shoulder all the way back. At Roger’s house we ate food, which wa$ good. $he ha$ a really cool loft in her house and I climbed up into it. Ju$tin $aid it wouldn’t be good to fall off there, and he told me not to fall off. I don’t know what struck me a$ so wonderful about that, but I about melted. Then Roger came in and put on some TORTURE mu$ic and I went down$tairs. Soon after, Justin came down$tairs too. We were Alone down$tairs for 15 minute$. On the way to the concert I $lept on him again. It was heaven. The other day, Penelope had detention during Academy and Justin and I went up to the place where we eat lunch and $at there all alone for 1/2 HOUR. I had been curious for quite some time to see if I was what he and Kyle would call a “chick” — so I asked. And he said, “By Kyle’s standards probably not. But it doesn’t matter — it’s how people FEEL that counts.” It wa$ $o $weet I about DIED and I couldn’t say anything for a moment. I don’t even he$itate anymore to say I love him, even though I’m a 14-year-old-freshman. Life i$ so beautiful. It’s 3:30

<3 Justin <3