Still the 23rd. My former seminary teacher, Sister Kinnaird, was the worst teacher conceivable. She taught us literally nothing. Instead of memorizing the Scripture Mastery Verses, as we were supposed to, she simply had us know where they were. We opened our scriptures once the entire year. To help us remember what the scripture masteries were, she came up with little stories and, um, poems. For the sake of posterity, I am recording these.
Moses 1: God’s Work and glory is never done
Moses 7: Zion went to Heaven.
Abraham 3: We have a premortal family tree
Genesis 1: The creation
Genesis 39: “I can’t,” said Joseph, “That wife is not mine!”
Exodus 20: Commandments are plenty
Exodus 33: Moses said, “God spoke to me.”
Leviticus 19: Love your neighbor, don’t be mean!
Deuteronomy 7: Deu, marry in the temple on the way to Heaven!
Joshua 1:8: Study the scriptures and meditate!
Joshua 24: Choose this day whom you will serve more
1 Samuel 16: Samuel, choose a righteous king. God doesn’t care if you’re blue or green
Job 19:25: Jesus died, and came alive
Psalms 24: Who could want more
Proverbs 3: Trust in the lord, and he will guide thee
Isaiah 1: Scarlet sings can be cleaned by the son.
Isaiah 29: This marvelous work is yours and mine
Isaiah 53: Christ suffered for me
Isaiah 55: 8-9: God’s thoughts are not the same as mine
Jeremiah 16: Missionaries go hunting and fishing
Ezekiel 37: The stick of Joseph and the stick of Judah… are the words that will lead you to Heaven
Daniel 2: The stone cut out of the mountain, is true
Amos 3: God tells his secrets to the prophets for me
Malachi 3: Dear Heavenly father, how can I rob thee?
Malachi 4: Elijah has the key to the door.
There were also stories that went with these. I will share a few, to the best of my memory.
Joshua was a pizza delivery boy, and he received an order from 24 miles away, to bring 24 pizzas to a party of 24 girls. When he got there, he saw that they were doing bad things. So when they invited him to stay, he said, “I will choose whom I will serve, and I will not serve you!”
How’s that for brain-power, eh? Well, she also had rhymes to help us remember the 10 Commandments.
1. Sun (God is like the sun.)
2. Zoo (There are stone lions at the entrance of the zoo)
3. Tree (If a tree falls on you, don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.)
4. Door (The church has a door)
5. Hive (Queen and King bees or something)
6. Stick (Don’t kill people with a stick)
7. Heaven (We always construed this to mean that adultry was Heavenly, but apparently that wasn’t the intended implication)
8. Gate (There are watermelons behind the gay — don’t climb over and steal them)
9. Line (Don’t bear false witness over the phone)
10. Hen (OK, get this: The hen covers her chicks. That’s one letter away from covet, and that’s what you’re not supposed to do.)
Well, as I have now exhausted my hand and nexck, I will stint. Bye.