Sano’s Secret Fear

“It’s really dark. I can’t see a damn thing.”

“Well, what did you expect?”

“I dunno. Fire or something.”

“The fires died down hours ago.”

“Oh. I think I might have been out…”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe I made that jump!”

“It was quite a surprise.”

“But why did I jump at all if everything was gonna get so dark?”

“I don’t know why you jumped, but that isn’t the reason it’s dark.”

“Fuck, I- I can’t stop coughing, there’s so much… something… in the air in here. What did you say?”

“It’s smoke. And dust. And I said that your jump wasn’t what made it dark.”

“What was it, then?!”

“It wasn’t my doing either, so there’s no need for that tone.”

“Well, then, stop fucking laughing at me and tell me why it’s so dark!!”

“It’s dark because we’re trapped in a place with no light.”

“You don’t have to act so patronizing.”

“And you don’t have to act so petulant. A head injury doesn’t give you the right to be even more immature than usual.”

“Are we gonna die in here?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I have men on the way; they’ll be doing a thorough search of the entire premises, and they’ll find us eventually.”

“Men… um, all right… and then it won’t be so dark?”

“That’s right.”

“I’m not scared of the dark, you know.”

“You sound scared.”

“I’m not scared to die, either!”

“I just told you we’re not going to.”

“Oh, yeah, you did. I forgot.”

“You should try to sleep. You did hit your head rather hard.”

“I can’t sleep. I’m scared.”

“You just said you weren’t.”

“I’m afraid of…”

“Afraid of what?”

“…”

“Did you fall asleep, I hope?”

“No… no… just…”

“Lie down. You’re too weak to be talking.”

“No, no, I’m fine. It’s just… I can’t remember…”

“Can’t remember what?”

“Where are we? What are we doing here? Oh, shit, I can’t remember…”

“Ahou, this is very bad timing for amnesia.”

“Ah– Oh, wait… yeah, I think I remember you.”

“Good.”

“And we’re still in that fortress?”

“Yes.”

“And you were being stupid, and I was gonna try and help…”

“Yes.”

“And now we’re stuck.”

“Yes.”

“Right, I think I’ve got it.”

“Good.”

“Are we gonna die in here?”

“Once again, no.”

“Good, because…”

“Because?”

“Because I’m scared…”

“Scared of…?”

“I bet your worst fear about death is to die in the middle of something, like when you haven’t won yet.”

“That’s fairly accurate, yes.”

“Well, I just don’t wanna…”

“Don’t want to what?”

“I’m nineteen, man!”

“I know; no need to sound so desperate about it.”

“But how pathetic would it be for me to die a virgin?”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I dunno… who are you again?”

“Try to sleep.”

“No! I’m scared I won’t wake up.”

“You are not going to die, and I am not going to tell you again.”

“How can you be sure of that? And what’s the sigh for?!”

“Of all the idiotic things to be afraid of…”

“Shut up! I’m stuck in some cave-in in a stupid fortress we can’t escape from because I was the only one smart enough to try and jump for some guy I can barely remember ’cause I hit my fucking head, and now I’m gonna fucking die here a gorgeous nineteen-year-old who’s never even kissed a man in his entire fucking life, let alone had sex with one!”

“If you can barely remember me, how can you be sure you’re correctly remembering those nineteen years?”

“I don’t know! It doesn’t matter! I’m scared, and you’re fucking laughing at me!”

“Calm down. You’re going to hurt yourself again.”

“No, I’m–owww! Fucker! Fucking shit!”

“Ahou.”

“I’m bleeding again, dammit! There’s fucking blood on my–”

“I’m coming over there. Just sit still.”

“Shit, I’m gonna die, I’m really gonna die, I’m gonna die in this fucking burning airless hole–”

“Hold still and let me– ”

“–where I can’t see a fucking thing or breathe or even move without cracking my head open on something or–”

“–it’s just a scratch; head wounds bleed a lot–”

“–and never fucking see anyone again, but I can’t even fucking remember half of ’em anyway and I don’t even fucking know if I’ve ever had a–”

“–if you say ‘fuck’ one more time, I will kill you myself–”

“–die never even kissed anyone, dammit, and fucmmmphhh!!”

“… Now will you shut up?”

“You just…”

“Kissed you, yes. So you can die happy.”

“You said I wasn’t gonna die!!!”

“You only will if you keep blabbering. And stop being so hysterical; you’re so shrill it hurts my ears.”

“But…”

What?!

“It’s not just…”

“What? Let go.”

“I mean…”

“I am not going to fuck you here.”

“But what if I…”

“You are not going to die. Don’t cling.”

“You keep saying that, but how the hell do I know that you’re not just trying to–”

“All right, listen to me. Will this make you happy — I won’t let you die a virgin.”

“You swear?”

“Yes. Now stop hugging my arm.”

“Don’t think I’m going to let you forget that…”

“Ahou, I’m not the one who is going to be utterly mortified to recall all of this tomorrow.”

“Why would I be–”

“When you remember who I am and realize what you just made me promise you. Now try to sleep.”

“Mmm, sleep.”

“No, not on me. I’m going over there.”

“My head hurts.”

“I’m sure.”

“Will it hurt less when I wake up?”

“Probably.”

“All right. Good night.”

“… Good night, ahou.”



An interesting thing to note here is that even I don’t know whether Sano’s faking or not — is he really having memory problems because of a blow to the head, or is he just playing it up to get what he wants from Saitou? An entirely different but possibly even more important question is: wouldn’t Saitou know better than to tell someone with a head injury to go to sleep?

I’ve rated this story . What do you think of it?

This story is included in the Saitou/Sano Collection 2 ebook.

6 thoughts on “Sano’s Secret Fear

  1. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT oh my god xD oh man…Sano is going to be positively mortified when he wakes up and remembers all of this and who he’s talking to. ffffffft xD you need to do a sequel to this where he wakes up and remembers so I can get a good laugh at how mortified Sano will be xD

    1. Thanks; I’m glad you liked it! While I’ve never planned on a sequel to this one, you’re right; it might be really fun. I would say “Poor Sano,” but he gets to have sex with Saitou, so that’s about as inapplicable a statement as anything I can think of XD

  2. Awww oh gOSHHH, SANO!!! I’m still experiencing the Feels from him jumping the gap to be with Saito. This was cute and funny and Sano is just as silly as ever. Just now he got himself a good promise that he can look forward to being fulfilled. :D hehe Thank you!

    1. I go back and forth on what I want to believe about Sano’s behavior here, and right now I’m imagining what it’ll be like if he is actually having memory problems — and the scene wherein he realizes (as Saitou predicts here) exactly what kind of promise he’s extracted from exactly whom. I mean, obviously he’ll have to come to terms with his true feelings, but there’ll also undoubtedly be some delicious chagrin XD XD XD

      Thanks for your comments!

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