Breakfast in Bed

“Sano. Sano, wake up.”

“Hmmphnn.”

“Sano!”

“Gthphkawaytstooearly.”

“Sano, wake up now.”

“Rightallrightall right, stop poking me, I’m awake. Shit, man, the sun’s not even up — how can you be?”

“Why do you have to sleep in such absurdly sexual-looking positions?”

“Maybe because I just got done having sex with you four or five times, what, three hours ago? Izzat what you woke me up to say?”

“I’m saying that this is your fault and I cannot be late for work today.”

“Well, what do you expect me to do about it?”

“What do you think, idiot?”

“How much you gonna pay me for it?”

“Don’t talk like a whore.”

“It doesn’t have to be money.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

“Well, if you don’t want my services, I’ll go back to sleep.”

“Fine, then. I’ll do it myself.”

“Yeah, too bad that’ll take you three times as long.”

“Arguing with you will take four.”

“Well, whatever. Good night. Have fun going into work like that or being late.”

“All right, you idiot, what do you want?”

“Just for you to agree to something.”

“Agree to what?”

“You have to do whatever I want when you get home.”

“And that will be…?”

“I’ll tell you after.”

“Why?”

“Because you won’t like it. Now get over here. Damned horny earlybird cops and their stupimmnnnnm…”

“Sano…”

“Mm?”

“Sano, I love you.”

“Mm-hmm?”

“I love you.”

“Mmm.”

“I love you.”

“Mmmmm.”

“I… uhnnhh…”

“Mmm, well, it’s nice to hear you actually tell me that for once, but don’t think it gets you off the hook for tonight.”

“What do you want?”

“I’ll tell you when you get home. Wouldn’t want it distracting you during your important investigations.”

“Sano–”

“Better get going.”

“Sano!”

“You’re gonna be late!”

“Hn. Fine. Goodbye.”

“Bye! . . . Shit, three I love you‘s! Heh… He musta thought I had something fucking awful planned for him! I’ma have to come up with something really evil to live up to that! Good thing I got all day to think of it…”

I’ve rated this story .