I’ve almost completely forgotten my Naruto dream that I meant to record the other day. All I can remember is that I had to take care of him and it was annoying.

Today I dreamed first that my family had a giant mansion and they were giving this big ol’ suite to me to live in until I get an apartment of my own. And it was terribly pointless because I still had to come over to this computer to use the internet.

Also I dreamed that my mom was giving some church lesson on the evils of homosexuality, and, stumbling across some Saitou x Sano doujinshi online, decided to use that as an object lesson. Thinking about this while awake, I cannot stop laughing; in the dream, I was horrified that she was going to go snooping around my room and confiscate all my dj’s. Do you think, possibly, my subconscious is suggesting I need to move out? Anyway, after the church thing she was going to lecture me on the evils of my habits and so on. But oddly enough she got distracted because one of my Gargoyles DVD’s was playing, and she was like, “Who’s Demona? Why is she so evil?” and I was all explaining.

Then I dreamed that Pierrling was telling Fiddychan and me some story about his romantic, mysterious past, in the style of many a romantic, mysterious TV series. First there was an incomprehensible driving-on-the-interstate part and which exit to take, but I won’t even try to describe that. Then there was his mentor who looked very much like (and might have been) Jonathan Frakes. They hooked up and it was hot. And in the next scene they were on the beach and Pierrling (forgive me) was wearing this cute little blue summer dress. That part was also hot.

Last dream was the least sensible. I was Miss Piggy for some reason, and I was in this city that was a tower. I had made it up to where the queen/goddess of the city reigned, which was very high up, and one particular ex-boyfriend of mine was there too. We were hanging out, and I decided to try to escape. Why I was trying to escape when I was a guest and nothing was wrong, I’m still not sure. Anyway, I jumped, but the goddess restored the game and lectured me for trying that because we were way too high up to try to jump from. So then my ex and I started alternately making out and talking. There was something about a grocery store. At about this time, the people of the city-tower decided that I was insane or somehow otherwise in need of being locked up for my own protection. This might have made sense if they’d decided this in response to my trying to jump from the tower, but these were unrelated circumstances. Anyway, they tied me up in this cage that was hanging outside and would swing at random, and I was suddenly desperate to escape. I managed to get the door open and reach a knife that was sitting in a box of toys on a ledge not far below. Cutting myself free, I started to climb down, but eventually ran out of footholds and jumped again. The ubiquitous parking lot lay below, and it was partially flooded, so, making use of Hollywood physics, I landed in the water and was therefore unhurt by the long fall. Somehow, despite the fact that I’d fallen many, many stories, people were already rushing out to chase me by the time I got out of the water. I ran toward my van, but realized that I didn’t have the keys on me, so I just opened the door and ran on. I opened the door in the hopes that some of my pursuers might not see me run on, see the open door, and waste some time looking into the van. I started running through this park that was next to the parking lot. I was calling frantically for help, as by now there were, like, thirty people from the city-tower chasing me, but the morons walking their dogs on the sidewalk beside the park just looked at me funny. Now, sometimes when I’m running in a dream, I’m built like a freaking orangutan, and use my arms to pull me along more than my legs to actually run with. Such was the case here. But as I was also still Miss Piggy, I was having difficulties wis the fancy clothing I was wearing and those purple gloves, which were now (from my swim in the parking lot) filled wis water. I managed to get one off as I ran, but not the other — considering that I was pulling myself along wis my hands, this is no surprise. Anyway, I was approaching a baseball diamond where a game was going on, and hoped I could lose myself in the confusion of the game and get away. But then I woke up.

I actually had more dreams than this, but I can’t remember them.