So I was cleaning my apartment as usual… I was about done, wis pretty much just vacuuming left… I was listening to The Emperor’s New Groove… when suddenly there was a knock on the door. (Cue present tense narration) I look through the peephole and there’s this guy about my age standing out there, a total stranger, without a shirt on. I throw on a robe and open the door and the guy smiles and says, “Can I join you?”

I try not to blink stupidly. I’m like, “I’m… cleaning.”

“Can I help you clean?” he says hopefully.

“Well, there’s only one vacuum…” I reply skeptically. “Are you bored or something?”


“Well, if you want to come in and watch the rest of The Emperor’s New Groove, I guess that’s OK.”

So he comes in. I’ve recovered my presence of mind and internally theorized on why he’s here… this past week, I’ve given up caring what the neighbors think and taken to walking about my apartment completely naked whenever I want, even if the blinds are open. I get back to cleaning while he sits down and remarks that he’s never even heard of the movie (which is almost over), and I, to test my theory, ask casually, “So where do you live?” And he points right out my patio door to the building across from me. Bingo.

So I am deathly amused by this guy who came all the way over in the hopes of seeing me naked. I start chattering pleasantly with him; we discuss the usual — how long we’ve lived in Colorado, where we’re originally from, what kind of jobs we have, and so on. We talk about anime (an inevitable subject in my apartment), art (as the fanart collection on my closet door is continually growing), swords (as there’s one lying on my floor), music, Japanese, roommates, blah blah blah. He wonders if I can draw him a design for a tattoo, so I do a (surprisingly decent) sketch for him to get an idea of what he wants; he’s going to pay me for it.

And at some point during all of this (I don’t remember exactly when or what prompted it), he comes right out and admits that he saw me walking around naked and came for a closer look. I just laugh pleasantly and remark that I knew my neighbors would eventually notice that I’m a nudist. He didn’t actually request anything; he seemed a little embarrassed, actually, that he’d come for that purpose at all. I was so so so entertained.

He left after about an hour. Now I’m trying to remember what he said his name was, but it’s eluding me. I wonder if he’ll buy binoculars XD I am so intensely amused at this.

Couple-hours-later EDIT: Dude’s cousin just came by looking for a tattoo design also… I got the feeling that his secondary motive was also to see some skin. *sniggers mas*