The setting of this dream was a couple of years back when I was still living wis my parents and still taking classes. And the entire front of my parents’ house was all window and there were all sorts of people outside it all the time. It was kinda like the scene in Shaun of the Dead when the zombs are trying to get in through the windows of the whateveritwas place, except that these people weren’t zombs, they were club-goers dressed up to go clubbing and milling around pressing against the windows on the front of my parents house. Anyway, that was scenery and had nothing to do wis the events of the dream; I just thought I’d mention it.

So for some reason I was abruptly desperately disturbed that I was not married. Like, serious psychological conflict and inner turmoil all of a sudden. I was so distraught about this all at once that I was determined to get married immediately. And the only person I could think of who would marry me on a moment’s notice was this guy Justin, who was my first “real” boyfriend (e.g. my first boyfriend in high school) and who was heartbroken when I dumped him. I figured he’d be overjoyed if I called him up and begged him to marry me. All this came out in a scene that was reminiscent of the long discussion I had wis my mom in real life when he and I broke up.

As if this wasn’t creepsome enough (and nobody is really likely to appreciate just how bizarre this dream really is), the next scene was abruptly several days later… I found myself awakening, in a sense, snapping out of the unprecedented matrimonial mindset back to rationality and unable to remember the last several days. Attempting to recall what I’d been doing for that period of time left me wis a great sense of disquiet and even horror, so I began slowly to realize that whatever I’d done was so terrible I’d actually repressed it. Severely frightened, I went to my mom and asked her if I’d gotten married. I learned that I had, in fact, looked up Justin and proposed to him, and we’d gotten married two days ago. Today I was supposed to be packing my stuff and he was going to pick me up after dinner.

I was dumbstruck. My primary thought was Why him, of all people??? And I ran through all my exes in my head reflecting that any other of them would have been a better choice than Justin… but unfortunately none of them really fit the bill… Sam had dumped me and never spoken to me again, Wayne was dead, Mike was married and had twin childs, and so on… So there I was, Mrs. Justin, and I couldn’t even remember the ceremony or, hell, even having spoken to the guy in years. I was sitting at the computer just horrified out of my mind, not really knowing what to do.

I got out M’s rats and started playing wis them absently, kinda talking to them while I thought things through. (For some reason she had four of them, and they were all four black-hooded.) Well, I could probably deal wis this, I was reflecting… I’m pretty good at getting along wis a person in whatever situation, so why couldn’t it work? I could probably make myself fall in love wis him after long enough too, right? I was waffling between that kind of desperate, would-be encouraging thought and wondering why my family hadn’t stopped me. The problem was that, unable to remember the last few days, I had no idea how determined I’d been on marrying this guy; and if I was really all for it, they would have no right or ability to stop me. Then I wondered what the hell had been wrong wis me that I’d done this. Then I started wondering how I was going to explain to or hide from my new husband the fact that I was just not that attracted to guys and he was definitely not one of the exceptions that could turn me on… because I knew he was going to want to sleep wis me eventually.

And then he showed up at the door. I still had four rats on my shoulders, and in my nervousness seeing him for (as far as I was concerned now) the first time in years despite being suddenly married to him, I dropped them all on the floor and started scrambling around trying to pick them all up again. He made some inane comment about them and then added, “But they served our purpose the other night, didn’t they?” And I was like O_____O wondering what the hell had happened the other night. The way he’d said it seemed to imply that he was referring to our wedding night, and…. I didn’t even want to think about the implications that we’d not only had a wedding night, but also used the rats for…. something at that time.

At about this time I woke up, severely horrified. I cannot begin to express how strange and disturbing was this dream.