I have gotten four doujinshi lately, and now I shall summarize them.

First is Happy Man. This is, predictably, all about Soujirou. It makes little sense. At the beginning it says “START!!” and at the end it says “GOAL!!” Anyway, it’s one of those types that has a bunch of tiny little stories and a lot of stuff that… doesn’t make much sense. There’s one freaking adorable bit where chibi-Sou is wondering what to do about the rain, and Shishio’s like, “Watch this!” and gets all hot so the rain just steams off him. Soujirou thinks this is sugoi and jumps into Shishio’s arms. There are several pages of randomness… a really cute Kaoru/Kenshin hug… a strange two-panel something where Soujirou is lovingly rubbing his face against Kenshin’s sword… more randomness… and finally the scene I bought it for:

Saitou has just finished destroying Usui (♥) when Soujirou comes in. They discuss Saitou’s wounds and this tiny tiny little roll of bandages Soujirou has. Saitou teases and kisses him, and Soujirou smacks him. Soujirou makes some long-winded statement about Shishio, and something about Kenshin, and Saitou grins evilly. I think the gist of it is that Saitou has to be stronger than both of them to have Soujirou. Saitou doesn’t seem at all worried. Soujirou walks off smiling. The End.

Next is Pastime, which is also strange. It begins wis what I believe is a doujinshi artist… a pretty, bespectacled doujinshi artist paying a visit to this house where Kenshin and Sano live in a modernish setting. Somebody else lives there too, or at least is there cooking, but the one time Sano says that person’s name, it’s printed so tiny I can’t figure it out. Anyway, the doujinshi artist sits down wis Kenshin and Sano at the table and starts talking yaoi. Kenshin gets so chagrined at one point that he falls under the table, and Sano teases him so much. But then the dj artist makes some pointed comment to Sano and he also falls under the table. Then dj artist draws RK character faces on oranges and puts them on top of each other, and this also freaks out Kenshin and Sano so they fall down again.

Then she cheerfully bids them look at her doujinshi. The words “MODE CHANGE” precede the next scene: Soujirou is talking to Kenshin in the woods, and he starts crying and hugs him. It’s very pretty; that was the scene that was advertised on ebay, and the reason I bought it. Soujirou caresses Kenshin’s scar, kisses him, tells him goodbye, and then leaves. It’s all veerrrry prettiful.

“MODE CHANGE” again to where Kenshin and Sano have collapsed all covered in sweatdrops. Kenshin makes some comment about women and the weird stuff they come up wis, at which point the doujinshi artist removes her glasses and says, “It’s not just women,” and you realize it’s actually Soujirou. He looks excessively edible in that panel. The End.

Third is Yuganda Ai volume 2. I don’t have volume 1, so don’t ask me why Tomoe is alive, apparently younger than Enishi, and being so enthusiastically sexed by him. We open wis her giving him a blow job. After the title page, he’s first fingering her and then eating her out on a beach somewhere. Then the scene shifts to a shack in the woods where he’s tied her up, apparently for her own good. He goes outside and starts angsting about, remembering stuff Kenshin said and punching trees, until he hears her scream. Berating himself for leaving her alone, he runs back to the shack, where he finds two enthusiastic guys (one of whom looks kinda like Iizuka) trying to rape her. He destroys them to death, about which Tomoe is not happy. He remembers more stuff Kenshin said and screams, and that’s the end. It’s very strange. The sex was nice, though.

And I have saved the best for last. Well, and also I have told about them in the order I got them. Anyway, this is Gottamix 4. I do not have Gottamix any other volume, but now I reeeeaaaaally want them. Look at the back cover of this volume and you’ll see the first reason I had to have this:

We open with Saitou looking hot: always a good beginning. Next we have a little mini item from the scene where Kenshin (displaying his excellent social skills) attacked Hiko by way of reunion and Hiko jumped into the air. Here, Hiko keeps flying upward until he’s in space. Next we have some little story where Aoshi annoys Misao and she elbows him in the face — which in itself is hilarious to me.

Then we have Saitou cleaning his sword looking hot. In comes Hijikata and asks him if he’s going… somewhere. Saitou (who is hot) replies that he’s not going, but apparently he gets convinced to go anyway. On the way there they have some irritated conversation. The place they’re going is a restaurant of some type, where there is a cute girl working. She takes their orders and then leaves them. They talk for while, and at one point Saitou gives his adorable creepsome smile and Hijikata gets mad about something. Then we notice Harada and Okita and some other guy hiding in the bushes watching them, and Hijikata gets mad again. I really have no idea what’s going on, but it’s freaking adorable.

OK, this next scene just makes me laugh so hard. I don’t understand it, but it’s just so freaking funny. Saitou appears to be trying to get some work done at a table in a room of some sort, but it’s not working very well because he’s sitting in Hiko’s lap and Hiko has his hands all over him. Saitou looks annoyed. Kenshin, Sano, and Chou are all there too, and Sano is asking Hiko something. Sano and Chou listen, fascinated, as Hiko apparently explains about how to jump over varying heights of flora. As he’s doing this, he steals Saitou’s cigarette, and Saitou’s all reaching after it wis his mouth. So so funny.

Next are several pages of weirdness that I’m not even going to attempt to describe. Then we have an incredibly hot Saitou going through, like, twelve million pounds of paperwork at a desk. He does not look very happy. Suddenly, Kenshin appears looking deathly adorable wis a little heart in his mouth crying out, “???♥?????♥?♥” It was so unexpected; I totally want to eat him. Saitou doesn’t, apparently, because he puts his foot on Kenshin’s head (which is something people do a lot in dj’s by this circle…) and decides he’s finished wis work. I think this desk is in his home. Kenshin says something all surrounded by hearts, but then the next thing we see is Kenshin pinned to the wall with Saitou’s nihontou through his chest, blood pouring everywhere.

Saitou goes into another room and finds food ready for him? I think. He seems to regard this wis a sort of resigned exasperation. Saitou takes off his jacket… we see Kenshin, who is apparently just fine despite being impaled, look up and start struggling to get down; it’s freaking adorable. Saitou starts taking off his shirt (OMFG), but then he hears what seems to be someone singing from another room, and, curious, goes to see what it is.

It’s Hiko, singing in the bath. Saitou promptly falls to the floor when he realizes this. Hiko turns and says, “????????♥” Saitou is annoyed and wants to leave the room, but Hiko reaches out and grabs him. Saitou’s all annoyed because Hiko is, of course, soaking wet; then when Hiko starts mouthing Saitou’s neck, Saitou tries to hit him. Hiko dodges, grabs Saitou’s wrist, and drags him half into the bath. Saitou’s head plunges under water, where he comes face-to-face wis Hiko’s…. massive…. set of pixels. It’s seriously, like, a quarter of the page pixelated. I just about died. The look on Saitou’s face at this point….. Hiko wonders what’s wrong, and Saitou comes bursting out of the water, irate, slams Hiko’s face down into the bath, and falls to the floor. Hiko makes some comment, and Saitou tells him to shut up.

Then suddenly Saitou is waking up in bed. He’s kinda like WTF? wondering why he’s suddenly waking up in bed, and why he has this cloth on his forehead. There’s Hiko being all nursey wis cloths and cool water and a fan. At one point he smacks this cloth down across Saitou’s eyes apparently somewhat painfully. He says something that annoys Saitou too, and Saitou turns over and puts his back to him. I don’t know what’s wrong with Saitou. Anyway, they seem to reach an agreement of some sort and Saitou is apparently just falling back asleep when Kenshin bursts in. It appears he was coming to bring Saitou some food, but he’s desperately shocked to find Hiko there? Something like that. It wakes Saitou up and makes Hiko do a facepalm. Next day, Saitou gives Chou the twelve million paperwork.

Next story starts where Sano and Megumi are watching Saitou fight Mumyoi. It’s the part where Saitou’s above him about to slam him into the ground, and suddenly there’s Hiko there in the air too. Saitou’s like WTF? and Mumyoi’s like WTF? and Hiko’s like, “What? I can’t do this too?” and they all slam into the ground. Everybody else sweatdrops.

One-page item where Saitou is fighting Seiryuu… it’s the part where he grabs his face… and then Seiryuu’s giant tongue comes out and licks Saitou’s hand. Saitou’s hair gets all spiky from shock.

Then we have Hiko demonstrating Hiten Mitsurugiryuu moves to chibi-Kenshin: he shows him how Dou Ryuu Sen can unearth, like, yams or something; Ryuu Shou Sen can get you apples out of trees; and Ryuu Kan Sen can blow girls’ clothes off. Kenshin’s like O_o

And then! We have two pages of Hiko licking Saitou’s cone of light, which is not glowing nearly as severely as it usually is. Mmmmmm.

Last page is Hiko looking hot lounging against a wall he’s apparently graffiti’d up wis a paintbrush that’s as tall as he is from a bucket of ink. The End.