Cleaning off my desktop, I came across this file of commentary from back when I was watching the first FMA anime freaking forever ago. I got through about half the episodes and then just stopped watching it, so my commentary never got posted. But now I’d like to delete the file, so, as far as it went, here it is:

Wow… Ed is even spazzier in the anime than in the manga O_o He’s hotter, too, though. Shows like this bring out my pedophilia.

Winry looks totally stoned in the opening sequence.

GAH ROY OMG LOVE *____*

I don’t like the ending theme.

OK, the issue I got really tired of having belabored over fourteen manga volumes is getting extraspecially old over four anime episodes.

And then they’re like ZOMG FLASHBACK! even though it just happened last episode -__-

I’m not too big on this opening theme either.

OK, the real talent of the Elric brothers seems to be to draw alchemic circles on random objects insanely quickly. If I could draw that quickly, there’d be twelve HR pages every week.

These subtitles aren’t as hilarious as the ones in my Shaman King bootlegs, but they’re still pretty good. “She fell off a cliff and she had an accident.” Yeah, I’d probably have an accident too if I fell off a cliff.

Wow, that was such a dumb episode. Come on, just go see Roy already.

Oops, Roy/Ed phone sex. “Don’t be so nervous.”

STOP SAYING THAT. I understand the equal exchange principle thing already, dammit.

Oh, Hughes. Why is he the greatest guy ever. I wonder if the same thing will happen to him that did in the manga and make me cry so hard. I loOoOove him.

Awww, Hawkeye’s little round face. She’s so cuuuute. Her hair is different from the manga, though. It’s hot this way, but I like the manga style better.

Some other subtitler seems to have taken over, and the translation’s gotten more amusing. It keeps referring to “a huge armor” and making me giggle.

During the opening sequence when Roy and all his pals all shuffle forward like morons it makes me laugh really hard.

Man, it seems like Roy just knows everything that’s going on all the time.

OoooooooooooooooooK that was dumb. Manga wins, anime loses. As usual.

Yay Wrath!! ♥

Penetrate the what, now?

“If you don’t mind, wanna eat it together?” These are the best subtitles ever written.

Wuxinnrexi!!

O. M. F. G. A black character in an anime that looks black but not like a freaking caricature. Win twelve million points for that so kwikli.

Scar wears cheap shirts, it seems. Maybe he spends all the rest of his money on extra angst.

O_O Ed’s hair…

Lots of extra angst. And talking to himself powers.

OH HUGHES. OMG I love him.

I like Winry because she is a geek.

This scene reminds me of the fight wis Eddie in SH2. Also it answers several questions I had. Buuuuut it’s still kinda dumb. I love Barry in the manga, though.

OK, guys, enough wis the angst. Just go open a flower shop or something.

Hey, can I jump on your back? And be on top? Please let me be on top this time.

“That is Colonal Masutangu… I can’t imagine how he will dig at me.”

This hot new character has a very filleresque look…

This episode is retarded filler shit too.

GAH SO STUPID THESE EPISODES.

OK, that shit is over. Now please do something not stupid. Like Roy.

Either Hawkeye’s hair has changed, or I wasn’t looking closely enough before.

Oh, Hughes ♥♥♥

“Our supervisors want them to make out.”

Angsty harmonica is important.

Wajay

Oh, look at that. Finally a new opening theme. Hopefully there will be a new ending theme too.

“So far he’s claimed 9 nines nationwide.” Seriously, these are the greatest subtitles ever.

Yay new ending theme!!!

Scar is way hotter in the anime than in the manga. That is to say, Scar is actually hot in the anime. But he angsts at himself too much.

That was vera good and it gets many points.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. ROY killed Winry’s parents in this??? WTF, man? That changes everything. That is so weird and unexpected O_o

There’s that important angsty harmonica again while we draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag this scene out as long as possible.

Almost every time they refer to the Philosopher’s Stone, the subtitles call it some new retarded name. It’s terribly amusing.

“Why are you muzzy here?”

Yeah, the flower blooming out of Ed’s head never fails to crack me up.

Why is Roy so hot.

I yuff Maria ^___^

Roy and Hughes are so made for each other. Too bad Hughes is so adorably happy wis his wife and child.

I freaking love it when Al sneaks.

Oh, Barry ♥

And here’s Greed at last…

“Alchemy is a radical way to reshuttle what the God has given!”

WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE?!?? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME UEDA YUUJI WAS IN THIS?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

Hugging people that are going powerspazzy always saves them. It’s, like, a law of animated series.

I WILL EAT HUGHES FOREVER. WHY IS HE SO FREAKING CUTE.

Winry needs telve more earrings.

O_o Scar just killed Barry. WOT. But I loved it so much when Barry was crushing on Hawkeye!!! *sad* Oh, well.

O_____o And now Scar’s… leaving…? WTF.

The angsty harmonica is getting really annoying.

Incidentally, Roy and Hughes…

People! You feel justified in making a hopeless mish-mosh out of the plot and throwing in all this random filler crap, but you can’t see fit to spare Hughes????????? Come on!!!

God, Roy is so hot.

“Dear Colonel Roy Mustang

Please have the HQ pay all the bills for my hospitalization, medication, food, etc. This section, by featuring a number of objects of special from the contemporary collection o fhte the Science Museum, shows how broad and multi faceted a contribution modern Britain is making to science and technology, and also sheds light on the Science Museum’s policy.

Thanks,
Edward Elric”
If they’re going to lift English from some random source for their letters and such, they should really go wis erotica. Because that would be more interesting and appropriate than museum guides or whatever.

*snerk* Izumi came looking for them while they were (sortof) going to her? That’s hilarious. Why is she so hot.

Ooh, new opening theme. Not that I object in any way to Laruku. And… this one… kinda sucks… But this new opening sequence is really good *__* I particularly love the image of Al carrying sneeping Ed on his back ♥ I do kinda wonder what’s wis the random snakes, though… They’re all sparring, and SUDDENLY APPEAR SNAKIES!!

It annoys me when Winry gets violent; it denigrates her character.

Um… um… um… WINRY/PANINA OTP.

I don’t really have anything against this Ed/Winry pairing they’re evidently trying for… not as far as the characters’ characters are concerned, anyway… but… but… their hair… it’s just… no… warm blonde x cool blonde is… *twitchtwitch*

OK, and… in this new ending sequence… she makes the dog type. That is so cute and random. Actually, all this dog interaction reminds me of Relena and all her random Just Love!!! animals. Only slightly less random. And this song kinda sucks. Winry’s totally adorable in those overalls and that striped shirt, though.

I don’t know why the word “checkmate” is so damn sexy, but it is.

Wait, Winry didn’t stay in Rush Valley? O_o

“We can play some alchemy”

Izumi is SO hot.

AH WOT PREGNANT CAT WOT I WILL HAVE EVERY CAT AND BAYBEE ALL BAYBEE CAT LOVE LOVE. GAH I forgot that a cat was going to freaking DIE. First Hughes and then a cat. Stupid anime; can’t you screw things up so that things I like don’t die?? Seriously.

I don’t know how Izumi can be so hot. I think she’s actually hotter than Roy. God, she kinda looks like a female Saitou wis dredlocks. SO HOT. I mean, she was hot in the manga, but here’s she’s killing me dead every time she’s onscreen.

Huh. Naked kid is around. Wot.

Now he seems to have a pants and such.

THAT IS THE BEST WAY TO CATCH FISH I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE FREAKING LIFE.

“Remember that time I got rabies and died before our hot sensei came back?”

NGYEE HEE HEEEEE A LITTLE ANT APPEARED ON HIS FINGER.

Izumi saying, “Stop; he’s just a kid!” doesn’t hold all that much water wis the way she consistently kicks Ed and Al around. She’s still super hot, though.

Um, this little multi-colored kid is kindof awesome.

I love how Winry sleeps wis a wrench.

Wot? Arm leg wot?

Oh, god, this flexing-at-each-other scene is even more disturbingly hilarious in animated form XD XD XD

Amway and Brad *dies*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OH GOD UEDA YUUJI