I spent today working on SaS, and a little Plastic too. Plastic Trowa is such a drama queen. No call yet from the place I interviewed at on Friday, but I didn’t really expect to hear from them today. Just now I drank too much apple juice, and feel kinda sick.

So what exactly does Elvis mean when he says he’s going to squeeze his girl “tighter than a grizzly bear?”

Does he mean that he’ll squeeze her tighter than a grizzly bear squeezes her? How many grizzly bears squeeze her, and how does he know the tightness of this? Is he jealous, perhaps, of how many or how tightly grizzly bears squeeze her, and is this why he’s threatening promising to beat them at this game?

Or does he mean that he’ll squeeze her tighter than a grizzly bear generally squeezes things? Are grizzly bears known for their powers of squeeze tightness? I mean, maybe it’s something that exists that I’ve just missed: most people, when they hear “tight squeeze,” immediately think “grizzly bear.” Just like “phobia” and “spider” or “fucking crazy” and “Ozzy.” Anyway, is this grizzly-bear-level tightness a measurable phenomenon? Otherwise, again, how does Elvis know exactly how tight it is so that he can try to surpass it? Or is he just hoping for a ballpark-figure-tighter-than-a-grizzly-bear-squeeze?

Or, finally, does he mean that he’ll squeeze her tighter than he generally squeezes a grizzly bear? Because, yet again, how often does this happen? Is grizzly-bear-squeezing a sport I’m not aware of? Or perhaps a sport exclusive to Elvis (that I’m not aware of)? One must assume, though, that, in this scenario, he is aware of the relative tightness of the squeezes, so perhaps this is the correct interpretation.

My conclusion is that Elvis is weird.