I am no longer employed. The senior doctor told me that his business managers had advised him that he can’t afford four assistants at this point, and since I was the newest that meant letting me go. He gave me my last paycheck and shook my hand and left. It happened so suddenly that I’m still in a bit of shock over it. It’s difficult to get my head around the idea of checking Craigslist for new postings every two hours again. Not to mention that I was so pleased with that office and enjoying the company of my coworkers there so much… It seemed too good to be true, and I guess it really was.

I’ve had a raging headache for several days now, and I don’t think all that crying yesterday helped. Also I’m starving, but since I’m back to no-paycheck status I want to conserve what food I have. And did I mention shock? I can’t quite manage to produce anything, or even bring myself to start submitting resumes again just yet, so I’m reading Angles and writing faerytalk for that (admittedly a month or so early, but whatever).

I dreamed about job-hunting. Already. I dreamed about a dental office that turned into a restaurant, which seems to me a pretty clear reflection of my fear that I’m not going to make it in this field and will be stuck in shit jobs for the rest of my life. At least my parents were nice and supportive in my dream; it could have been worse.

Oh, god, this headache.