Skyward Sword

Aight, I wrote this about a million months ago and then kept forgetting to post it. So here it is.

Being a vehement Legend of Zelda fan, eventually I broke down and bought Skyward Sword even though it was a Wii-only title. My parents have a Wii, which I believe my mom acquired for exercise games, so there was no problem with hardware or anything… except my hardware. My carpal tunnel syndrome won’t allow me to play a Wii game for more than about ten minutes without being in awful pain for the next thirty-six hours. So I made Lester play it and I just watched.

Unfortunately, the game is so bad that he completely lost interest after the first dungeon. And the game is so bad that I didn’t have the energy to try to convince him to continue. So the very few comments I have don’t go past the excruciatingly long intro section and that first dungeon.

Lesta suggested, very appropriately, that this game’s secret true title is The Legend of Cutscene: Skyward Cutscene. Since even after about a million of them we hadn’t exactly been let in on any kind of involved story or characterization (I mean, it is a Zelda game), this got just a tad annoying.

Speaking of characterization, Zelda’s amounts to, “She pushes you off things a lot and that’s kinda funny,” which, as Yahtzee said, is at least some personality. Also, her haircut in this design reminds me of Relena. Hmm.

There’s this other character — a villain probably destined to be The Dragon — whose design seems to have been tailored to make Link look more straight by comparison. Which is a bit of a shame, since I’ve never had any desire for Link to seem straight, as he is clearly bisexual and adorable just the way he is. Interestingly, this villain, in attempting to look as gay as possible, seems to have appropriated Trowa’s hairstyle. Hmm.

So after it became clear that brother really was not going to be playing any more of this, I went to Wikipedia and looked it up so as to read the rest of the “story.” O__O What a train wreck.

It’s rather a shame, since in the ten minutes I spent injuring my arm(s) to play, I did enjoy the sword-swingings. Glad I didn’t have to fight Trowa-hair-guy, though; that was frustrating even to watch.

Anyway, I hope Nintendo have invented some dumb new system by the time they release the next big Zelda title. This experience hasn’t shaken my love for the franchise or my personal favorites of the series, but it remains a sad, sad thing.

One thought on “Skyward Sword

  1. Speaking of villains affecting a ‘gay’ look, I have to give the cake to Kuja from FFIX. Not that recall that any of the other male characters had specific representative-gender issues (unlike FFVII which was rife with The Pretty). I think it was The Hips that had me most questioning what gender Kuja was supposed to be (even as I type that, I think to myself: why must we limit ourselves to just two choices?) Also, does his level of beauty reinforce the idea that if you *are* beautiful, you are also screwed up?

    But Zelda. I will forever be enamored of the original game of the golden cartridge because it was one of the two games I ever beat before my brother (and he was *livid* XDD) That, and it’s sequel (which I could not progress past stage 2 or something–to the extent that there *were* stages, maybe it was just the second boss, but it was something pathetically small) left me with the impression that…Zelda was ALL adventure, NO plot (beyond adventuring for triforce pieces, adventuring for heart containers, adventuring to and through dungeons!). The SNES Zelda probably had more plot, but I didn’t finish that one and don’t remember much about it aside from having a “negaverse” style dimension in which one also had to play…

    I looked into Skyward Sword a couple weeks ago myself, but I am Wii-less and the idea of having to swing my arm to swing my sword seems like a turn off to me. I like pushing buttons, gimme buttons to push, save the wiimote action for things like warioware, smooth moves (http://youtu.be/-YRMJNSvHWc?t=1m32s)

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