My nephew Deedle was telling my mom all about various things the other day, and he mentioned that a spider would need eight swords. I had to document this because I haven’t yet finished laughing at the mental image of a spider lying on its abdomen completely unable to walk because all of its legs are busy holding swords, which it is flailing wildly in the hope that some enemy will wander close enough to be hit by them.

I always knew I was allergic to guinea pigs, because once a friend of the family brought his over and even from across the room I had a reaction. But I never knew how allergic I was to guinea pigs until we got some in for school and had to set up their cages and stuff. My entire pulmonary system seemed to constrict all at once, making breathing painful for the next several hours. And they’re so freaking cute!! The noises they make!! ZOMFG!! Ah, well.

Speaking of school. For this anatomy and physiology class, we’ve been dissecting cats. The cats did not arrive for the first week and a half of class, however, because they were — I kid you not — on back order. I have yet to figure out exactly what this means, but it strikes me as almost as funny as an eight-sworded spider. P.S. Do you know how freaking adorable cat hearts are?? So small and sweet! I have been telling my cat for a week about how adorable her heart must be.

Today I posted the fiftieth part of Plastic on ff.n, the last I’m putting up there on account of sex starting soon after. I’m waiting to see not only whether anyone’s interested in reading the second half of the story on a different site, but whether the alternately baffled and helpful responses “you could just edit it” and “people post graphic sex here all the time” come as a flood or a trickle. Should be interesting.

So Peyton Manning has apparently abandoned “Hurry, hurry!” This is not important, but I thought I’d mention it because it makes me a little forlorn. I’m going to miss it. Still keeping my fingers crossed for an undefeated season, though, hurried or otherwise.

Speaking of football, guess who had a very fun date last Saturday and is following it up with a football game attended with the lady in question this coming Saturday? I’m not entirely sure if the football game qualifies as a date as well, but it should be fun even if the Air Force Falcons are more than a little embarrassing this year. Further updates as they become relevant. Possibly.

I dreamed I got onto some sort of American Idol show singing Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats. I was amused that this had happened, because in the dream it was the only song I’d practiced extensively and was therefore able to sing well, so I was very unlikely to make it any further on the show.

In another dream, somebody gave me steak-scented air freshener. It had a picture of a lovely steak dinner on the bottle. That made me wake up chuckling.