I’m going to take my first-ever antidepressant in about fifteen minutes here, and I figure I’ll keep a running log to monitor effects and side effects. Probably not of interest to anyone else.

Escitalopram 10mg QD: starting with a small dose of a common drug to see how it works. I have a follow-up appointment at the beginning of August. I’m especially interested in how it affects my attitude toward work (specifically getting up and ready for work), my level of energy in the mornings at work, my level of grouchiness at various times, and my general ability to cope with sad shit like recent RK tragedy.

I’m going to try taking it at night for now, having been warned by the doctor that it makes some people drowsy and some people more energized. If I get the latter effect, at least I still have my sedative to help me sleep; if it turns out to be drowsifying, there’s not a lot I can do beyond my usual morning routine (which is already problematic) to help me wake up.

Apparently a possible side effect is difficulty getting an erection. I’ll have to look out for that.

Day 1:

4:45: Some minor dizziness getting up in the night to use the bathroom. Didn’t seem to sleep well and am tired now, but this is not unusual. Hints of nausea.

10:45: Nausea to varying degrees (none overwhelming) all morning. Soreness in neck (possibly unrelated). No dizziness. Distinct improvement in mood and emotional energy level; have been warned that this type of immediate efficacy sometimes diminishes to make way for more gradual improvement.

16:00: Very occasional brief moments of dizziness. Nausea diminished for about an hour after lunch, but otherwise was consistent with this morning. Excellent mood is perhaps dropping off a bit as end-of-day weariness sets in, but still generally cheerful.

20:00: Unusually tired throughout the late afternoon/evening (though admittedly I just turned the corner in my surgery recovery last week). Nausea has persisted throughout the rest of the day. Very little dizziness. Not particularly grouchy after work despite being tired.

Taking the next dose again at night. We’ll see how I sleep this time.

Day 2:

4:45: Seem to have slept better, but still very tired on waking. Slightly nauseated already.

19:30: (Tried to update four different times from work, but Wi-Fi consistently failed me XD) Unusual-consistency persistent diarrhea (may be unrelated). Nausea perhaps half as bad all day; expect even less, if any, tomorrow. Only the tiniest hints of dizziness. Stiffness/soreness of lower back off and on (this was present yesterday too, but I forgot to mention it). Mood still considerably improved. Very physically tired/sleepy most of the day, but emotional energy sustained me. Was even able to walk the treadmill for 25 minutes after work despite feeling exhausted. Going to bed early now.

Day 3:

5:15: Definitely slept well, and feeling OK this morning. Once again slightly nauseated already; this may be worse when I haven’t eaten in 9 hours.

3:30: (Once again tried to update at work and was betrayed by the poor Wi-Fi; now I’m home early and able to update properly.) No discernible dizziness today. Minimal nausea. Drowsy still/again.

Most remarkably, no diarrhea this morning. None. Even after more caffeine than usual. Per Dr. V. (who did human medicine before going vet), some antidepressants do have an antihistamine effect. Can’t find anecdotal evidence of this online, ’cause the moment you combine a drug name and allergies in a search engine, you’re deluged with irrelevant information. Dearly hope this isn’t just the drug causing constipation, because if I could get through work mornings without my customary multiple instances of diarrhea, that would be a side effect almost as good as the desired main effect. Of course it might also be what’s causing the drowsiness. Have to wait and see.

20:00: Spent a few hours messing around in RPG Maker, an activity requiring some concentration and creative thinking; inhibited neither by drowsiness nor restlessness. Still marveling at lack of diarrhea this morning. Still taking pill at night.

Day 4:

5:15: Overnight dizziness continues. Not as tired this morning as the last few days.

20:00: Dizziness definitely wears off once I properly get up in the morning, as there’s no hint of it all day. Nausea almost completely gone. One instance of stool about halfway between normal diarrhea and healthy consistency. Still drowsy, but less so today. Cheerful mood and increased emotional energy remain unchanged; was able again to walk on the treadmill for 25 minutes (sadly, still too hot out to take Beeks for a walk) despite being physically tired.

Starting to think this drug is a miracle. Kinda doubt even it will be quite enough to cheer me fully for tomorrow’s much-hated Saturday shift XD

Day 5:

Correct in the assumption that even such a great medication couldn’t stave off annoyance at having to work on a Saturday, but today was definitely better than most such shifts. The only unusual thing (or change from the last few days) I have to remark upon is an unexpectedly large amount of (normalish) vaginal discharge. Weird.