Everything is wrong right now! I have an honest-to-goodness brain tumor (what a metastatic hike from the absent ovaries, eh?), which has brought with it a host of really awful symptoms that are kinda ruining my life for the moment. I am clawing my way through each hour of each day, hampered by the worst fatigue I’ve ever experienced.
Failing taste buds have always been a possible side effect of cancer treatment, and now they’ve hit. I’m super hungry and thirsty all the time, but I can barely taste anything I eat or drink, and it’s driving me insane. Spices and strong restaurant food has become my go-to, and even that is pretty bland for the most part.
My problems are mostly physical: I’m just too weak and shaky to do things like type extensively, lift a pen to draw, or get any cleaning or laundry or anything done. When I leave the room to get a drink, I have to come back and sit down for half an hour to rest that off. My condition has been gradually improving, though! I’ve gotten a little bit of work done on a few things — editing (no new writing), the beginnings of a drawing, and the next episode of video blog — but often I’m too braindead, depressed, and exhausted to do much.
The other issue is that I’ve had such a bad time lately that I kinda lost track of my medications, so I’m out of several drugs I take. And then I’m taking this steroid that’s keeping me up (exhausted) at night. Please don’t look for any kind of coherence from this update.
I’ve had all sorts of scans over the last couple of weeks, and I have another biopsy (this one on my liver) on Monday. I hope I don’t die from all this! Someday, sure, but not at age 42! I have so many wonderful projects to get back to!
Anyway, if you’re a friend for whom I am writing a story or drawing a picture, be assured I haven’t forgotten you (but that’s the best I can tell you right now). If you’re someone whose story I’m reading, same. I may actually be able to get video blog episode up today, but it won’t be in any way a reflection of my current state of mind or ability. I watched 31 horror movies in October, and am still working on getting those reviews up; all the footage from this episode was taken before or on Halloween. Good way to extend the season? I guess. Cancer has benefit? Not really.