Saitou & Sano Thoughts: Sad assumptions

9 days ’til I turn 36!!

What Saitou sees in Sano is (to me) fairly obvious, his attraction (to me) perfectly natural. But what he does about it… that story can go in a variety of plausible directions — and does! That’s what fanfiction is ^__^

And what if Saitou, while (at least on some level) recognizing his interest in and desire for Sano, is operating under a subconscious assumption that nothing can come of this? Not like, We can’t be together because of [reason] and [reason], but a truly subconscious attitude — he has never even considered that he could do something about this attraction he feels. Because in his head, life just doesn’t work like that; duty eclipses everything. It has literally never even occurred to him that a romantic relationship is a thing he could have. His feelings are just one more thing he has to deal with, and entirely a dead end rather than an avenue.

Of course this would send Sano hella mixed messages. Whenever Saitou was around, he would get the feeling Saitou liked him — gradually, of course, the way it usually happens — but then it would never, ever actually go anywhere… to a point where Sano would begin to doubt his own judgment. And he’d have no idea what to do about it. Though of course Sano is typically so proactive about things (unless some unkind author has put situational obstacles in the way of his activity *cough*guiltyascharged*cough*) that he would probably bring it up after not too long.

Actually I think it would play out a little like my HoH situation between those two… except that, instead of asexual and completely aware of what Sano wants and just reluctant to get into a relationship, Saitou would be totally oblivious — not to the existence of romantic relationships, obviously, but to the idea of himself in one.

And Sano, of course, would be flabbergasted when he found out what Saitou’s deal was. He’d probably be the first to put it into words, too, in a mixture of astonishment and horror. Saitou himself would be far less horrified, but probably somewhat interested to recognize something that’s been going on in the back of his head his whole life.

What I think would astonish Saitou is a somewhat abstract variant on the not unusual I can’t believe this amazing person feels the same way about me and is part of my life attitude — a kind of, I can’t believe there’s room in my life for this, or what a difference it makes. I think he would find himself constantly surprised by the possibilities and expectations of a relationship, and in a way he would feel like a much younger man as he learned to apply this very basic concept to himself for the first time.

Of course some of this would come out in Sano’s presence from time to time, and at first Sano would be flattered… until he realized that it’s the novelty of the relationship that has Saitou in awe, not anything about Sano specifically. But then he would realize (possibly Saitou, depending on the current mood of their interaction, would even point out) that Sano was the one, after twenty-some years of adulthood in Saitou’s life, to finally get him to learn that lesson. So Sano really is pretty special after all.

I also have this idea that Kaoru and Kenshin are involved. Because I think Kenshin could easily have the same thing going on in his head. And I kinda like to think of Kaoru figuring it out first by watching both Saitou and Kenshin while poor confused Sano is trying to decide what the hell to do about Saitou’s mixed messages.

In fact I think she considers Saitou and Sano her test case, once she figures out what the deal is. She sees these two guys (Saitou and Kenshin) that were so steeped in what they were doing as younger men (and, in Kenshin’s case, as a very young man) that they haven’t been able to move on more than nominally — that, though they’ve changed some of the trappings of their lives, underneath are still living as they always did. Neither one has a setting for romance. And Kaoru wonders whether that can be changed, and starts to work on Saitou first.

Obviously this would be slightly different than the usual Kaoru-as-matchmaker behavior, which I think could contribute amusingly to Sano’s confusion, but obviously Kaoru’s determination and heart would win the day in the end: Saitou and Sano would get together (with all the previously mentioned and continuing reactions), and Kaoru would have a template for herself and Kenshin. So everyone could live happily ever after!!

I don’t know why I find it so sadly charming to think of Saitou (and Kenshin) in possession of romantic feelings but not of the awareness that those feelings could be acted upon. Somehow, though, I’m just enthralled by this thought XD

Awesome new phone wot

18 days until I turn 36!

I loved my Galaxy S4 with a glorious passion, and will always fondly remember purchasing plane tickets to England on it at work. When it started to act a little weird and slow down a bit because it was getting older, I figured I’d get a later entry in that series and love it similarly. I was going to buy the S7 from my provider, Cricket, with whom I’d always been quite satisfied, but just then by coincidence my mom’s provider, Republic Wireless, announced they would be getting several new phones — including the S7 — on the very day I would be able to afford what I wanted to buy.

Republic Wireless is cool. You do all everything (including calling) over Wi-Fi whenever Wi-Fi is available, and, though you pay for a plan as usual, they refund you anything you haven’t used (because you’ve been mostly on Wi-Fi) once the month is up. I didn’t mind what I was paying with Cricket, but the prospect of paying less for being able to do all the same shit? Yes, please!

I’m only a couple of weeks through my first month with Republic, so I can’t actually report yet on how successful this system is likely to be for me. It’s looking extremely promising, though.

And the phone? ZOMFG I love it so much. I love everything about it so much that it’s easier to list what I dislike than go on and on about everything I adore. First of all, the speaker placement is odd; it’s right in a spot where your fingers tend to sit when you hold the phone sideways. Secondly, on the home screen, the information bar across the top is always white text with no background — meaning that if you have a wallpaper whose background is white, the information across the top disappears.

Another complaint I have isn’t about the phone itself, but, rather, a combination of circumstances. The only texting app compatible with both my phone and Republic Wireless’s transitioning-between-Wi-Fi-and-cell-service system is Google’s Messenger. It’s a bare-bones app that’s not necessarily bad, but doesn’t recognize the individual notifications set up for your contacts, and doesn’t have an in-app setting for individual notifications. Which means my phone makes the same sound no matter who’s texting me. However, I don’t really receive all that many text messages, so this is a minor annoyance.

Aaaanyway, this phone is gorgeous and takes gorgeous pictures, and has all sorts of little options that I love. I’m very happy with it. Of course, it’s shaped slightly differently than the S4, so all my darling custom cases are now obsolete. I’ma hang them up on the wall as decorations now. Dunno how many cases I’ll end up with for my S7; I guess we’ll see. I designed one to start out with, thinking it would be really cool to have a phone case entirely in manga black and white. See here:

I was going to post the original image as well, but I accidentally deleted it. Too bad. I’m super happy with this case; don’t forget that My Custom Case is freaking awesome.

So that’s about it for now! New phone yay!!

GW drama with Damien and Lyric

25 days ’til I turn 35!

My sister and her family are visiting, and I thought I’d share a couple of videos of Damien (7) and Lyric (4) playing with the Gundam Wing figures on my computer table (as well as a few other characters such as Ariel and Gilda the griffon).

Damien got a very brief rundown of who the GW characters are, but he doesn’t remember many details about them. I’m not sure why he latched onto Wufei as the coolest; no accounting for taste, I suppose.

Lyric is very quiet, so it’s difficult to hear what she’s saying, but I still decided to put the video up for documentation purposes and because that helmet. Sadly, I didn’t manage to capture the part where Duo asked Ariel if she wanted to go to the beach with him.

New Hair Adventure!

31 days until I turn 35! Here is a picture of my hairs:

It is a subtle coloration, and difficult to take a decent picture of, but I think you can still see what’s going on here. 35 points to anyone that can tell me why I’ve done this!

Khalina, khalina, khalina, yemkin enssa l’assiya, denta lli amelta fiy, ya habibi kan ketir

Let’s have a personal journal entry fifteen days before my birthday!

I’ve been sick for, like, three weeks. It’s slowly going away, but I still have this stupid cough. Fortunately, I’m feeling fairly human again by now, and yesterday I actually had the energy to clean my room finally! It’s so lovely in here now!

Also, posters. So. When I moved back into my parents’ house a few years ago, I thought it was going to be a temporary thing (until I finished the school program I was doing and found a more lucrative job), but these days it’s looking more long-term if not permanent. Back then I put up some scrolls and posters, but didn’t bother to cover all surfaces the way I prefer because I kept thinking I wouldn’t be in here that long. But now, accepting the nature of this arrangement, I have finally gone all-out in the good old style. This makes me happy. I suppose a few quick pictures are in order… Four corners ahoy:

Next, brother has acquired a kittin and named it Galileo. Waybee is unhappy about this addition to the household, and will attack him if he comes near her. She will undoubtedly get over it eventually, but for the moment their interaction is rather entertaining to watch. Little cat likes golden Oreos, for some reason.

So WordPress tells me what search terms have led people here, of course. And one search term that brought up my archive as a result was, “i’m thinking of suing myself. apparently.” This made me laugh really hard.

One day mom texted to ask what I wanted from McDonald’s. In attempting to reply that I wanted a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, my phone thought I wanted to type “Quatre,” and suggested “Wufei” as another word I might possibly be trying for. Dear Swype, I don’t think McDonald’s sells those.

One time I dreamed that I was taking part in a rodeo. The event I was competing in involved the following: a cow would be restrained upside-down with only its head emerging from the restraining device. I would direct my duck up a ramp to the cow’s head, where it would harass the cow with its beak for a set amount of time. Then I would call the duck back to stand in a certain spot, and we would be scored on our performance. I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I WOKE UP FROM THIS DREAM.

OK, despite how many photos there already are in this post, I can’t do a personal entry without progressing through the huge collection of old pictures I still need to deal with. So here are a few more from dry-cleaning days:

This interested me greatly at the time because I had no idea Playboy made suits. It’s… a little disturbing, I think, actually.

“Have dry-cleaned with reputable cleaner who is familiar with knitwear care” cracked me up. So pointlessly specific, and, methinks, somewhat paranoid. Aww, look at my stubby little thumb with its cute black nail! I should paint my nails again sometime.

I need not explain to any RK fan why this amused me. I wonder what kind of clothing line Soujirou would design… I imagine somewhat preppy.

Such importance!!

It occurred to me today at work that I completely forgot to get my birthday countdown going. Usually I start it a number of days before my birthday that corresponds with the number of years old I will be, which would have been July 30th this year, but I’ve been so busy and tired that it completely slipped my mind.

So. 25 days ’til I turn 34. Whether or not this will actually be a countdown (i.e. whether or not I will have the energy to post any personal entries between now and then) is anyone’s guess.

Only one day left until I turn 33

In a few hours we will drive away to go to Santa Fe! Have I mentioned how FREAKING EXCITED I am about this?? And because I will be away for my entire birthday, I have decided to post things I’m posting today rather than tomorrow.

I had that trying-to-shave-the-backs-of-my-thighs experience again yesterday, since I anticipate a swimming pool in New Mexico this evening. The shaving process was easier this time, but we’ll see if any swimming actually happens. If not, the tags will probably remain on my swimwear until next summer XD

So the other day there was a final exam, and after we’d taken it a classmate of mine commented, “I had the hardest time remembering the lay term for canine parturition… I kept thinking ‘bitching,’ but I knew that wasn’t right.” This tickled the hell out of me, and from now on I will consider that any dog having puppies is “bitching.”

On the same day, at work, a fun thing happened. Someone ordered two dozen chocolate strawberry roses, but requested that we not deliver them until she brought in some stuff that she wanted delivered along with the order. And what she brought in turned out to be a FOUR-FOOT-TALL TEDDY BEAR on which she’d put a backpack stuffed with candy. There were also about a million balloons, one of which was, like, three feet in diameter.

Excess often amuses me hugely, and I was filled with giggles in relation to all of this. I was also very pleased with the vibe I was getting that this extravagant offering was a sign of lesbian affection. Unfortunately, though, the purchaser evaded my subtle questions along those lines. It was still pretty awesome, though; the driver reported that the recipient was almost in shock when he appeared with all this crap.

I was thinking of reporting on my concert experience, but my feelings are so mixed I don’t know if I can do them justice. Seeing Three Days Grace three days before my thirty-third birthday was not only awesome but also terribly numerically appropriate… but I was not aware until I was actually at the concert that Adam Gontier has left the band. (Yes, I am very bad at paying attention to things.) This is literally enough to make me cry, but I don’t want to undervalue the concert experience even without him. So I think I will say no more on that topic. Still, there’s this: