Magic



Chou’s temper hovered on the fiery brink when Sano showed up at the police station, so, although he didn’t know why Sano was here again, he was glad to abandon his task for the moment and come sit on the edge of Saitou’s desk for another meaningless conversation with the roosterhead.

“So how’s it going?” Sano asked.

Chou gestured toward his corner and rolled his eyes. “Fuckin’ paperwork.”

“As usual, huh?”

“Not as much lately,” Chou acknowledged. “But I still hate it.”

“Where’s Saitou?”

Shaking his head slowly, as he’d found himself doing quite a bit recently when the senior officer came to mind, Chou replied just as slowly, “Dunno…”

Sano caught at the gesture and the tone. “What?”

“Well, the boss is…” He couldn’t quite figure out how to put it.

“Something wrong with him?”

“No… more like just the opposite, actually.”

“So something’s right with him?”

“I guess. It’s weird.” Observing Sano’s curious look, Chou scratched his head and wondered where to start. “It’s not like he’s really different or something,” he finally began. “It’s just, for maybe a month or so, he’s been…”

“Been what?” The prodding rooster seemed inordinately curious now.

“Well, nicer,” admitted Chou, then quickly amended, “just a little.”

“Really?” Sano suddenly had a strange grin on his face. “Nicer how?”

It took a moment for Chou to come up with a concrete example. “This one time before when he caught me sleeping on the job… uh, at his desk, actually… he thought the best way to wake me up was to hit me really fuckin’ hard on the head. Woulda been almost funny if he’d knocked me out trying to wake me up. But then it happened again the other day, and he just slammed his sword down on the desk really hard and startled me half to death.”

“I guess that’s nicer…” Sano’s grin had turned slightly skeptical.

“It ain’t just that,” Chou protested. “He’s just… in a better mood… all the time. Before, he’d come into work already pissed off and ready to bite my head off at practically anything I said. Now it takes a while for him to get to that point, sometimes all the way ’til lunch time. Oh, and he lets me have a lunch break, too. He never did that before.”

Sano was watching Chou with that same inexplicable little grin, pleased and amused and maybe somewhat surprised. “Really…?” he said thoughtfully. “And how long you say this’s been going on?”

“I dunno how long it’s been, really,” the blonde shrugged. “I just started to notice, so I’ve been looking back and trying to guess when it started. Maybe a month, but that could be way off.”

For a long moment Sano kept silent, apparently wrapped up in whatever thoughts were bringing that odd expression to his face… or perhaps just having a hard time imagining what Chou was describing. Finally he said, “So Saitou’s been happier lately, has he? For about a month, you think?”

“I know it’s hard to believe,” Chou agreed.

“What else does he do?” asked Sano, an almost eager curiosity still marking his tone.

Wondering more than ever why his companion was so interested, Chou enumerated the further examples he’d managed to call to mind. “Well, he doesn’t hit me nearly as much in general — not just when I’m doing something I know I’m not supposed to like sleeping at his desk, but just when I annoy him or whatever. And he stopped doing that thing where he completely ignores me when he feels like it. Course that just means he tells me my ideas are dumb that much sooner, but at least I don’t have to repeat myself. Oh, and he doesn’t intentionally scare the shit out of the rookies half as much as he did before.”

Sano, who’d been chuckling through this entire speech, picked up quickly on the last point and asked, “So it’s not just you he’s being nicer to?”

“No, it’s everyone! I’d think he was maybe just getting used to me or something, but he even had a whole conversation with the chief the other day without completely antagonizing him!”

“I should send Kenshin up here sometime and see how Saitou treats him,” Sano suggested with a crafty smile.

Now it was Chou’s turn to chuckle. “Somehow I don’t think the magic works that well.”

“So you think it’s magic, huh?” Sano grinned.

“What the fuck else could make Saitou be that nice?”

Sano shrugged. “Well, I hear getting laid can put a guy in a pretty good mood. Maybe he’s found some decent ass.”

At this Chou laughed outright. “Are you crazy? Not even magic could make that happen.”

“Well, next time you see him–” Sano hoisted a brow suggestively– “look for hickeys and stuff.”

“No fuckin’ way,” Chou reiterated, still laughing.

Grin widening, Sano jumped up. “Well, this is good news. If it means your job’s not sucking as much anymore, I mean.” Clapping Chou on the back, he added, “You’re a good guy, houki. Let’s go drink sometime; my treat.”

The sword-collector was slightly confused at this, not having thought their often-dubious friendship had progressed to going drinking together, nor that he’d said anything today to push it to that point… However, it wasn’t an offer he was about to refuse, so he just grinned back and said, “You mean your tab’s treat?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Sano agreed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and ambling toward the door. That mysterious smile had returned to his face, and he already seemed a mile away, at least in thought.

Chou couldn’t help it. “What’s with you?” he demanded.

Glancing back, “Good-mood-magic spreads,” Sano said with another shrug, and was gone.

Chou gave a baffled laugh, and found his own smile still remaining when that was finished. “I guess it does,” he muttered, and returned to his work in a much better temper.


I was in the middle of playing video games on a sick day when I thought I wouldn’t get anything done when this story suddenly decided it wanted to be finished. And who was I to argue? Technically this is the nice story that I promised Chou after How Chou Got Fired, which is part of why it starts out very much like that one did.

Anyway, this is for 30_kisses theme #2 “News; letter,” except that I completely ignored the “letter” part. It’s also a companion to Responsibility and Corner of the Eye.

I’ve rated this story . What do you think of it?

This story is included in the Saitou & Sano Collection ebook:


All Sorts of Good Details



Chou regained consciousness to a splitting headache, the reflection that daylight was just pure cruelty in the sky for being so bright, mild curiosity at his somewhat familiar surroundings, and the oddly worried-sounding and subdued voice of Sagara Sanosuke — “You awake?”

“Yeah,” Chou groaned. “The fuck…?” It felt like a hangover, but he could not for the life of him remember… “Whydzthis look like Saitou’srom?” He’d seen it once or twice during his time reporting to Saitou, but why would he be there? And with Sanosuke?

“It is Saitou’s room,” Sano replied quietly, “and you’d probably rather not know why you’re here, but I figure I better tell you anyway.”

Chou didn’t want to sit up, but the roosterhead’s tone was proddingly strange. Still, it took a moment before he could get his eyes to focus on the distinctly agitated form of the other man. The other, barely clothed man. What had happened last night??

“It’s like this,” Sano said: “about right after you quit working for him, Saitou went fucking crazy.”

“Wzalready fuckin’ crazy,” Chou protested.

“I mean like sex-crazy. It just came out of nowhere!” Sano’s voice dropped almost to a whisper as if he were afraid someone might hear; it made Chou very nervous. “He just started going after anyone he could get… half the good-looking guys in town’ve been his bitch, and there’s nothing none of us could do about it ’cause he’s got connections like crazy and he’s too strong even for a group of us to take down.”

“Shit!” Chou growled, gripping the blanket around him and picturing Saitou’s psychotic yellow eyes all sex-hazed and predatory. “You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me!”

“No.” Sano shook his head gravely. “I’m his favorite, I guess, probably ’cause he always hated me so he gets off on dominating me all the time. Lucky I ran into you last night before he found you; he was so busy with me he didn’t get to you, and then he had to go do some emergency shit at work. I dunno when he’ll be back, but you’d better get out of here. He’d know when the drug would wear off, so he might be back any minute.”

“Drug?!” So it wasn’t a hangover at all. “Shit, shit, this is fuckin’ crazy!” Chou was scrambling to his feet, but, losing his balance — not to mention getting tangled in the blanket that really did smell terribly of cigarettes — he fell back to the futon. “Always knew’e was off his fuckin’ nut, but this is…” His eyes went wide. “Where the fuck are my fuckin’ swords?!”

“I don’t know,” Sano replied. “Maybe in the house somewhere, maybe– oh, shit.”

Chou looked around in wild consternation at Sano’s sudden tension and the very obvious sound of footsteps in another part of the house. Before he could say anything, Sano had jumped to his feet. “He’s back; shit, yeah, that’s definitely him. Look, I’ll go distract him, try to get him into another room so you can get outta here.”

“I’m not leavin’ without my swords,” Chou insisted.

“Which is more important, your swords or your fucking ass?”

Picturing that crazy bug-bastard’s eyes again, Chou wasn’t sure how to answer this question.

“I gotta get out there, man, or he’ll be in here after you.”

“‘fhe comes in here I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘im,” Chou growled.

“No!” Sano replied frantically. “You’d never be able to beat him, and it would just turn him on! ‘Sides, you can barely even stand up yet!”

Chou had to admit that this was probably true. “Shit, this is fucked up…”

Sano was at the door. “I’ll see what I can do… you just get going soon as you can walk.”

“Th-thanks,” Chou stammered, wondering how soon that would be and whether he would be able to escape this situation.

*

Saitou watched as Sano emerged from the bedroom half clothed, closed the door behind him, and seemed to struggle for a moment to contain a fit of laughter.
“There’s my undercovers cop,” the young man finally said. “You’re back early.” (Although he didn’t seem at all surprised.) And, flinging himself on the officer, he attempted to kiss him.

Saitou, who had been frowning at the strange display of amusement, now frowned at the haphazard mess of sheathed weapons strewn across the floor from wall to wall; he refused to be kissed. “Do I even want to ask what Chou’s swords are doing in my house?”

“He was in the area,” Sano shrugged, “and I ran into him, and we went drinking.”

“For future reference,” Saitou responded, “your drinking companions stay at your apartment” — fixing him with a flat stare that, while not far from Sano’s face due to the younger man’s still being draped over him, was far from pleased. Or at the very least in the living room, he added silently; he would not say it aloud, as the smallest degree of allowance would encourage his irresponsible lover to take even more liberties.

“Aw, lighten up,” Sano grinned, and kissed Saitou’s nose.

The wolf’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why are you so cheerful?”

“Because you’re back in town half a day earlier than I expected you,” replied Sano in a tone of overwhelmingly untrustworthy innocence.

“You’re a terrible actor,” Saitou informed him flatly.

“I’m good enough!” protested the jovial Sano. “I can convince a drunk guy of just about anything. Or a hungover guy, even.”

Saitou shook him off and reached for the bedroom door, his eyes still narrowed.

“Aww, c’mon, the poor bastard’s feeling like shit, and now you’re gonna kick him out?”

“I believe I have a right to determine who inhabits my own bedroom,” Saitou replied coolly.

“Fine, fine,” Sano shrugged. “Go in there; freak him out; whatever.”

Saitou turned briefly. “Does he know about us?”

“Oh, sure,” Sano replied in a deliberately offhand manner that failed entirely to conceal the slyness in the remark. “He knows all sorts of good details.”



Sometimes I wish I had the resources to play this kind of elaborate practical joke, but in actuality I would find it too cruel. Here it’s fucking hilarious, though. Messing with Chou is always fun, of course. This also gets points for “undercovers cop” and Sano kissing Saitou’s nose. I’ve rated this story . What do you think of it?

This story is included in the Saitou & Sano Collection ebook:


Attention Span


He finally seems to have figured it out.

“Hey, roosterhead! Long time no see!”

“How you doin’, broomhead?”

“As you two are both in the same room, there really is no need to shout.”

“…boss’s gotta headache, I guess, so…”

“…sure…”

Yes, quiet down, both of you. Honestly.

“…doin’ here?”

“…way to have lunch at the dojo……stop in an’ say hello…”

“…how’re things up with the…”

He used to come in here to bother me. Day after day, no matter the weather. I never could figure out why, but now he seems to realize that I don’t want his company.

“…but Aoshi’s……an’ Kenshin wants us all to…”

“…that crazy Niwabanshuu guy, right?”

“Yeah.”

Now he just comes in here occasionally to bother Chou, and hardly says a word to me. Which is a relief, since everything I ever say to him prompts some kind of unnecessarily angry reaction; honestly, if I make him so mad, why did he keep coming around? Especially when he must have known I didn’t want him to.

“…hear ‘e’s got two kodachi in one sheath…”

“…pretty good with ’em, too…”

What I really wonder, though, is what finally brought him to his senses.

“…should try’n steal ’em for me…”

“…funny……don’t think so…”

It used to be that I could always get some kind of comment from him with just a look, but now he ignores me almost entirely.

“…think he’d kill me……seen him this one time…”

What made him so thankfully well-behaved?

“…musta pissed that girl off…”

“…would not believe…”

If my offhand recollection is correct, the last time he was in here pestering me specifically was at about four thirty two weeks and three days ago… but I don’t remember that I said anything more pointed than usual during that meeting to indicate that I didn’t appreciate him endlessly hanging around my office forcing me into meaningless conversation.

“…heh heh heh…”

“…and then Aoshi says…”

But since I’m glad he’s broken this irksome habit — although for as many months as he kept it up, it was really more of a hobby — I’m not going to question my good fortune.

“…yer friend Battousai do about…”

“…just laughed and didn’t……but Aoshi was all…”

He’s certainly talking about Shinomori a lot… I wonder why…

“…sounds like ya got a crush on that Aoshi guy…”

Chou noticed too, I guess.

“Nah, I just like it when his coat goes fwoosh.”

Maybe Shinomori is the idiot’s new hobby.

“…one with a……collar, right?”

“…’s it……think it’s pretty damn sexy, even if I’m not…”

I’m sure Shinomori doesn’t like it any more than I did. Poor fool.

“…wha, sexier’n mine?”

“…heh heh, of course……gotta go…”

Well, the boy has the attention span of a butterfly, so Shinomori won’t have to suffer him long.

“…later, ya freeloadin’ tori-atama…”

“…tomorrow, houki…”

Yes, go, and let Chou get back to the job I pay him for. Don’t bother saying goodbye to me; I don’t want it. Just leave me in peace.

Peace and quiet.

Yes.

Exceptionally quiet quiet.

It’s only the contrast, of course. And I still have a headache, so I’m not complaining.

But still, it’s very quiet.

“Chou…”

“What? Want me to go buy ya a trench coat?”

. . .

Well, I do pay him to be observant.

“Just make sure it isn’t yellow.”

Really, I don’t mind butterflies so much.

Mostly I find I dislike being forgotten.


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This story is included in the Saitou & Sano Collection ebook: