Stupid medical shit and a dream about Loki

I’m actually only making this entry to describe the funny dream I recently woke up from, but since I am making it, I might as well talk about what’s going on while I’m at it. I’ll get to the dream in a minute here.

So last week (to coincide wonderfully with my deep sadness in regard to the decision I made), I was experiencing abdominal pain. Because I have multiple conditions that give me abdominal pain on a regular basis, I didn’t pay much attention, but I did notice it was getting worse. Eventually, on Friday, it had gotten bad enough (and had been increasing consistently enough) to give me some concern. So I went to the doctor, who referred me to a hospital for ultrasounds. And it turns out I have gall bladder stones and need to have the whole silly thing removed.

The doctor’s referral office set me up an appointment for today with a surgeon, and Friday to Wednesday seemed like a long time to wait — especially when they warned me very carefully what symptoms should send me to the emergency room over the weekend — but whatevs. I would wait. However, I wasn’t aware until Monday that I’d been misled by ‘appointment with a surgeon,’ and that this is just a consultation. I have no idea, as yet, when I can actually have this surgery, and an unknown period seems like an even longer time to wait. Because meanwhile, the pain continues to increase, and has with it that general feeling of ill health I hate so much and some nausea on the side, not to mention a lot of emotional distress that may have something to do with last week’s decision as well.

So I’m in too much pain to go to work, but not enough pain (yet) to go to the emergency room. I’m losing money every day, I don’t know how long this will continue, and Poe only knows how much I’m going to be out for the consultation visit (typically my specialist copay is $75) and the surgery itself (last year’s mass removal with no more than a local anesthetic ran me $500). I already had to pay $150 for the doctor’s appointment and the ultrasounds on Friday. Fucking gall bladder. I’m literally selling stocks in preparation for the next however long. AND MEANWHILE I’M STILL IN PAIN.

I was in no frame of mind to get any writing done over the weekend, though yesterday I wrote, like, four sentences on BC 22 (itself part of an entirely different emotional kettle of fish or maybe kettle of emotional fish). I’ve been working on my current RPG Maker project and a picture of two dogs, and watching a lot of Superman: The Animated Series. Just killing time, basically, until I can get this small and expensive bonfire removed from my side.

OK, but what I really came for. I had this dream:

These two minor gods were in some kind of trouble, and I was trying to get them out of it. But it was beyond my power, so I went to Loki for help — knowing full well it was a bad idea, but she was the only god I could actually communicate with. I explained the situation and asked if she would lend a hand.

As Loki replied, images appeared behind her as if she were running a slide show in the background illustrating everything she had to say. “I could help these two minor gods,” she said. “We could do such-and-such, and then talk to so-and-so, and get them out of their jam.” And the slide show demonstrated these potential actions.

Or…” she went on with a smirk, “I could turn them in for a bounty, and that would piss off…” And the slide show started scrolling rapidly through the images of every god in multiple pantheons, line after line after line of them, presumably listing all the many people who would be pissed off by Loki’s choice to betray these two minor gods. And it was pretty clear which option she was going to take.

The slide show thing and Loki’s smartassedness was so funny that I even laughed in the dream despite the situation having been made worse by my choice to go to her for help. I find it so funny in waking life that I had to write it down even though I haven’t logged a dream in a very long time.

And now back to my regularly scheduled suffering.

Edit: I have surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning. I’m so relieved to get it scheduled so soon, I haven’t been able to stop crying.

Thoughts on Densetsu no Saigo Hen

OK, I have to start out by saying that I think these RK movies have appeared in order of best to least best. In less optimistic terms, they’ve gotten worse as they go along — which does not bode terribly well for any future Jinchuu action we may get. I didn’t dislike this movie… but I wasn’t exactly enchanted by it either, and found some points extremely annoying. So here are my thoughts.

Koushite iru to omoi dasu ano koro no koto omae no tame ni kaasan ga tsukutta kono uta

I’ve managed to survive another holiday week at Edible Arrangements! Perhaps it will be my last; who knows? As far as I’m aware, the spay/neuter clinic has not actually managed to have a conversation with either of the co-workers that are on my list of references… but during my interview, I did tell the clinic how hectic things are at EA during the week leading up to Mother’s Day (by way of explanation for when I would be able to start should they want to hire me), so it’s possible that, after failing to get hold of my co-workers last week, they decided to wait until after the holiday. I can only hope they talked to the doctor so my entire list of professional references doesn’t seem unreachable. Since this clinic is closed on Mondays, tomorrow is the earliest I could hope to hear from them or think to call them.

Ach, my poor hands and wrists. Normal EA work doesn’t bother them much, but the crush of holiday business leaves them in bad shape for a few days. My feet have mostly recovered, but my hands still ache. My brain’s reeling a bit too; writing is not working very well today.

Several weeks back, some kind of infection and swelling appeared in one of my upper ear piercings, so I didn’t wear anything in those holes for a while until it went away. Predictably, this allowed the holes to shrink down again to a 16 or 18. This irritates me more than I can say, but there is a silver lining. Once upon a time, you see, back when I worked at the dry cleaner, there was a little tray of small items that others working there had found in people’s pockets. And in this tray was a pair of the sweetest little earrings:

I snatched them right up and took them home (and named them Heero and Duo) despite my being all 6-gages and therefore having no practical prospect of wearing them. And they’ve sat around in my room ever since, adorable and unwearable. But now! Now I can wear thems. So these holes having shrunken doesn’t suck as badly as it could. I will probably want to gage them up again eventually, though, because the unending hassle that is earring backs — the reason I gaged in the first place — exists to this day. Still looking for some kind of adapting plug…

I can’t think what else I might have to say, so here are some more photos:

OK, I know this is the state fish of Hawaii, but for some reason it just cracks me up beyond reason to see the entire word all embroidered out on a shirt. (Obviously we’re still in the dry-cleaning era here.)

BMDSS. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with a company named BMDSS, but not only does it look like “BADASS” at a glance (to me), then I see it properly and try to pronounce it phonetically, which sounds really funny. Also there are other incomprehensible letters and numbers after it, so the whole thing’s just a mess. That is all.

Cat reclines in stately elegance on the blanket.

MY FAVORITE BASS CLEF EVAR. It got tired of its boring job and sneaked into the MIDDLE OF THE ACTION YEAH!! This was in cantata music, I think, the year before last. When I pointed it out to mom, she just rolled her eyes. I love it.

Here’s this rant again

Dear people that make audiobooks,

I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating:

DO NOT PUT MUSIC IN YOUR AUDIOBOOKS.

Do not put music at the beginning and end of each chapter.

Do not put music at the beginning and end of each disc.

Do not put music at the beginning and end of the book.

DO NOT PUT MUSIC IN YOUR AUDIOBOOKS.

Love (dubious),

This Faery

Day 3/8

Well, today I have not worn a tie, and I suspect the same thing will happen next Sunday. I often don’t get dressed at all on Sundays, and I can’t even regret that XD

So I’m watching the Broncos defeat the embarrassing Raiders and playing Super Lesbian Horse RPG… it’s kinda weird to be watching football without doing homework at the same time, which has been the standard for the last several months.

This has been a fabulous break so far. I’ve gotten some good solid progress made on Confy, though I haven’t worked on any other story yet. I’ve been enjoying the hell right out of sleeping in, you may well believe. I should be relatively human by the time I have to go back to school a week from tomorrow.

All right, time to start catching up on stuff. First off, the story of Thanksgiving. Once upon a time, my mom’s redneck dad had a stroke, which left him in a state of no longer being able to collect redneck junk and fill his garage and yards with redneck junk and mess around with his redneck junk. So eventually, the family decided to get together and clean out the garage and the yards of all the redneck junk. One uncle was renting a big dumpster item to put stuff into, and many family members were traveling from their towns of residence to grandma and grandpa’s town to assist in this endeavor.

Brother and I, as I may have mentioned, were not able both to get the same days off in order to accompany my parents to grandparent land to help with this. Brother was chosen to go and I to stay since brother has muscles that could help with lifting and carrying things. Everything was set.

Only then, randomly and for no actual reason I ever heard, uncle called the whole thing off at the last minute. Canceled the dumpster and told everyone they’d just do it some other time. Despite the fact that PEOPLE WERE DRIVING ACROSS THE COUNTRY FOR THIS.

Mom and dad couldn’t very well cancel going at that point (this was, like, the day before Thanksgiving) since grandma was counting on feeding them Thanksgiving dinner and would have cried if they’d not shown up. But since brother’s muscles were no longer needed for what had previously been the entire point of the trip, he decided to stay home with me.

As I said before, I worked on Thanksgiving, sat around writing fanfiction and getting paid overtime for it. Then I went home, and brother and I ate junk food and watched movies (and some BSSM episodes) for literally twelve hours straight. And I had homework to do on Thanksgiving; did I mention that? It was extremely irritating. I was so not into it that the assignment took me seven hours.

Saturday after Thanksgiving, I got my hair cut. It’s longer now than it’s ever been in my life, and the gal trimming the ends actually asked me to stand up out of the chair so she could get at them; that’s never happened before :D I had her shave the horrible little bits off the bottom in back because they’re such a pain to tuck under a surgical cap in preparation for surgery. I intended then to go home and touch up my dye and take a shower, but this was not to be.

My parents texted me on my way home from the haircut, saying that they’d run over some random piece of metal that had fallen off a truck or something, damaged the engine of their car, and were sitting at the side of the road waiting for a tow into the nearest town. I might, they informed me, need to drive up to that town and rescue them. So I sat around for the next few hours waiting for word on that. Eventually they let me know that they were staying in a hotel that night, but by then it was too late to take a shower, so I went to bed with little shavey bits of hair all over my neck and back.

I was awakened next morning by my mother calling to request I go rescue them, since Silverthorne, where they were, has pretty well nothing at all open on Sundays so there was no chance of a rental car just yet. So, gross from having put off showering and still covered in little shavey bits, I drove the two and a half hours it takes to get up there, picked up my parents, and drove two and a half hours back.

The interesting thing about this is that if brother and I had, as originally planned, both gone with them to grandparent land to help with the stupid cleanup that got canceled anyway, there would have been nobody to rescue us; we’d all have been stuck in Silverthorne until Monday, and I would have missed my Monday class and lost all sorts of points at school because of it. So there is destiny for you.

We had a real family Thanksgiving the following Sunday, put up our Christmas decorations and watched the traditional movies, so everything was good. Oh, and I did eventually get to take a shower, too :D

Aremdawo sarangseurowo geurae neo geurae baro neo

I may or may not have acquired a longhorn heifer to go with my longhorn bull and my shroppie. Actually I’m pretty sure the cow and the sheep are lesbians together, and the bull is just a friend. And speaking of little figures… every morning when I come over to this table to grab a thing I need, I knock over some of my pals that are standing here. And for some reason, it always seems to be Heero and Quatre. It’s like they’re asking me to write some off-pairing stuff or something. Weird.

On one test in my lab procedures class, it said, “True or false: serum is the liquid portion of blood.” Obviously this is true, but the teacher claimed it was false because “Serum is the liquid portion of blood that has coagulated.” This was a couple of weeks back now, but I am still not done being annoyed about it.

Less annoyingly, but on that same test, I was asked, “What does ELISA stand for?” I could not for the life of me remember “enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay,” but I suddenly realized a much more awesome and completely accurate thing it could stand for instead. So I put “Evil-Lyn is Skeletor’s ally.” It even had a hyphen in the right place. Some of my classmates believed I should have gotten credit for this answer, and I would definitely not argue with that.

Once upon a time, I drew a picture that I called Cannibal’s Herald. Then it sat around in my room on top of my DVD’s for a year and some months, and kept falling down and becoming in danger of being damaged. Well, I finally got it framed recently so it is no longer in this danger. And I am soOoOo happy I did. It’s sitting against my bookshelves now, since I don’t have a place on the wall to hang it at the moment, but I still get to look at it all the time, and it fills me with glee. I chose a lovely frame and mat that match the picture very well, if I do say so myself, and it’s finally flattened out completely with no warbles. Yay!

Oh, you should have seen me last week when the Broncos lost. I was almost in tears. It was especially upsetting at the very end when there were multiple chances to take the lead that just didn’t pan out. This week’s game was much more satisfying.

Here are some pictures of my cat:

Incredible how you can see right through me

I am in Utah on a sort of vacation. This is the first time I’ve traveled since acquiring a laptop, and that changes the experience much for the better. Actually I couldn’t have managed it without the laptop this time, on account of these excessively idiotic online classes. I can’t even express how dumb they are, and I don’t have the energy to try.

Here is my new favorite line from a review: I don’t know the exact dates or anything, but plastic wasn’t around until after the 50s, maybe even 60s.

My grandma is a fan of clocks that make noise on the hour. Well, she seems to be more a fan of clocks that make noise about three minutes from the hour in either direction. There are at least four of them, and I don’t remember the last time I slept so badly. But at least I have online classes to distract me from being tired, right? Ugh.

You know I thought I would have more to say here?

Dear mother,

I don’t know why this has to keep coming up. I don’t care how many of your friends or people you’ve heard about somewhere have said it’s all right; to me, that still doesn’t make it all right. Yes, I know, it seems counterproductive to say, “This isn’t about the people that are actually involved; it’s about me,” but guess what. It’s about me. I think it’s morally reprehensible to casually throw around a term that is so strongly associated with a long history of oppression and cruelty and a set of stereotypes that exists to this day, and I don’t want to be the kind of person that knowingly plays into that system. I don’t know why that seems to be so difficult for you to understand.

No more journal neglect

Aight, before I even start talking about last week, an explanation of the move to WordPress:

Livejournal is continually making changes to their service that take it farther and farther away from what I’ve been primarily using it for, and continually leaving semi-functional or even downright broken aspects of the service untouched. And to add insult to injury, they completely ignore the feedback from their user base about these changes. So I decided to get out before Livejournal turns into another Facebook clone.

Since my two accounts on Livejournal (momentsdrift and kuroiyousei) are permanent, they’re not going anywhere, and I’ll still be checking my momentsdrift friends list. However, all content from both journals has moved here, and we’ll see how that works out; I’ve never had my personal journal in the same place as my art archive before, and the whole place is still kinda under construction.

Since I imported everything directly from lj, I have to fix all the lj-related links. Until then, the kuroiyousei livejournal is still available; as soon as all the links here are fixed, that lj will go blank and this will be the home of my art archive. I know I’ve only been using the lj as my archive for a couple of years, but I’m just so tired of lj’s crappy level of customer service and increasingly bad business model.

OK, so now that that’s all out of the way… An even longer entry.