Livin’ the dream just like I should (ain’t no need to ask why)

Turns out we’re closed on Monday. This was unexpected, since we haven’t gotten much in the way of little holidays off since I started here just under a year ago. It’s pretty awesome, too, because it means I’ll have that day for this madness I’ve embarked upon.

As for an update on that… well, it’s still madness, but the story has doubled in length in the last week or so, meaning it’s almost halfway done. Still madness, but promising madness, I guess. I do have an art exchange piece to finish by the end of the month too, and so far that card I pulled and its interpretation seem fairly accurate… so I’m not counting on this working. But I’m trying anyway. Just in case.

There was a bee in the store when I got here, and I spent an hour trying to usher her outside. Why do they have to be so stupid. They come inside and then bump against the windows trying to get back out until they die. The moths I can just pick up and carry out, but bees I don’t dare.

So this lady came in with a couple of sweaters. One she wanted to dry clean, and she asked me if I knew of anyone that might want the other. I suggested Goodwill. “Well, it’s a Talbots silk sweater,” she sneered. “I wanted to give it to someone who would, you know, appreciate it.” And I was like -__- Lady, if you’re looking for snobs, you might want to go somewhere other than the $1.75 dry cleaner. But I guess neither Goodwill employees nor customers appreciate donations; what was I thinking?

I think that’s about all for now.

IT’S JUST NOT THAT HARD

There’s this business not too far from where I live, between my house and work, called “Your Tax Lady.” It’s been there for a surprising number of years; I wouldn’t have thought a physical location devoted to helping people with their taxes could possibly last that long, but whatever.

So Your Tax Lady advertises via litte Burma-Shave-style signs at the side of the road near the shopping center she inhabits. And today I happened to glance over in time to see two of these signs in succession, reading, “As large as can be” and “Your tax lady.” I have to assume there was a sign that I missed that said something about a refund, but it’s way more entertaining to think that the largeness of my tax lady has become a selling point.

Speaking of entertaining… or maybe just weird… I had a customer come in and say that he didn’t want his jeans pressed after they were cleaned. I told him I could write out a tag for them that said, “Do not press,” but that I honestly doubted the folks in back would see the tag in time not to press the jeans, since pressing happens pretty automatically after cleaning. “Do not press” is not a request we get… well, ever, really.

Customer starts yelling at me about how this isn’t complicated and he’s saving us work, and I reiterate that I’d be glad to tag them but I can’t guarantee they won’t be pressed. He states that he’s brought them here several times and they’ve never been pressed, and I don’t bother replying that the last two times I took his order in, I did not put a “Do not press” tag on them (because with the way he worded it I just thought he meant he didn’t want a center crease), so they have, in fact, been pressed at least twice. Eventually he declares that he’ll just take them somewhere else because it’s not that hard. He’s managed a dry cleaner in the past and it’s just not that hard, and “I can’t believe you people.”

So there’s one I’ll be glad not to see again. Yeesh.

Oh, it’s stopped snowing. Crap. Now I bet I’ll get more business up in here.

Ducks are vera cute

Yesterday was madly busy at work. When I came in, the gal I was relieving said, “Oh, it’s Spring Break, and that’s always really slow.” Hah! We did almost seventy orders of three or more pieces (I didn’t count the one- and two-piece orders). This is apparently nothing compared to the days when the store was extremely busy, but since I’ve only been here in later times, it was really busy to me.

Today had been less so, which is nice. Not for business, of course, but more relaxing for me (and writing fanfiction). One thing I wonder, though… Why is it that whenever you tell a customer something is impossible, they start telling you all about what a good customer they are and how long they’ve been coming to you? “Wow, fifteen years, ma’am? Well, I’m sure when physics hears that, something will change and we’ll be able to get that done for you right away!”

Well, I get to see Zombie Girl after work, so good jobon that. We will watch some stuff and have badfic reading timez, yay! On Friday she goes to England for a two-and-a-half-week visit, so I suppose that will be good practice for me doing without her. Mou.

Now I don’t think I have anything else to say.

Oh! Except that I started my March art exchange piece finally, and, depending on how the colors turn out, I may actually like it enough to post it somewhere other than the art exchange site… which would be the first time in about a million months XD

Telve

Here it is a typical Saturday where I am dull and tired. It would be awesome to have a dfferent type of Saturday for once, but that does not seem to be my destiny. Ah, well.

ASZz chapter is one paragraph away from linear completion. I would have reached it yesterday, but I got pulled away. So maybe I will be able to finish it tomorrow. I need to work on TLY, too, so I guess we’ll see.

Work rant.

Happy St. Pointless Day!

Today is another pretty slow day at work. It wouldn’t feel quite so slow if the machine weren’t down… the result of that is that Brandie, who’s usually in back for most of Saturday running loads of clothes, has instead been up here with me all day helping customers and tagging. There’s really no reason for both of us to be here, but we have to wait for the boss to come back before either of us can leave.

The good news is that this setup = getting paid to write about Heero and Duo and their eternal lurve. I’ve just hit linear completion in this Plastic-world story, so good jobon that. Makes me extremely anxious to get home and work on it properly on the computer. ASZz too has made very good progress. My volume 2 came, so yesterday I got a good chunk of that done and am almost to linear completion there as well. Yay! I can’t work on it at work, though, on account of not having the proper files to reference on my phone. On mah phone.

Speaking again of work. A quick letter to customers.

I’m all things to you, nothing to you

Three works stories. First, an old guy came in with some shirts, and I asked him whether they were for laundry or dry clean. He said, “Laundry. I used to have them dry cleaned, but eventually the dry cleaning solution started to irritate my virgin flesh.” And I was like, Ten points to Dumbledore!

Second. This one lady has always been rude and unpleasant when we explained to her that several of her pieces might not do well in dry cleaning, and always signed the release we asked for with this air of “Why are you people even asking me this? Just do what I say.” Recently, when she came in with her usual stuff, I said to her, “And I know we’ve done this dress with the jewels on the front before, but I still need you to sign a release just in case they melt.” Seeming annoyed and put-upon as usual, she signed. Well, that time the plastic jewels did actually melt. It happens sometimes; they’re fine the first two or three times through, but by the fourth time the outside of the jewels has been worn off enough that they just melt entirely.

Anyway, when she came in to pick her stuff up and I explained that the jewels on the dress had melted, she LOST HER SHIT. She threw the biggest fit I’ve ever seen, and her reason for her anger at us was, and I quote, “You told me the jewels might melt; you didn’t say it would ruin the whole dress!” I had a hard time not laughing right out loud at her. She demanded to talk to the manager, and he actually asked the question I’d been too polite to: “What did you expect?” Because, seriously, how did she imagine the jewels might melt without ruining the entire dress?

The last one was this weird but quite nice old lady that always comes in not to have things laundered or dry cleaned but to have clothes she’s already washed at home pressed. You know. Whatever. Anyway, it’s difficult for me to convey in a few words how old-school and naive she seems, but even not knowing her this is still probably pretty funny. One day before she left she asked me, “Hey, you know that new store at Dublin and Academy? I think it’s called ‘Fabulous’ or something? Have you ever been in there? Do you know what they sell?”

At first I hadn’t the faintest idea what she was talking about. I started to tell her this, but then I realized what she must be referring to — it’s a Fascinations (link NSFW), and has been there for at least a year — and I was like, “Oh! Oh, that’s a sex store. I mean, they sell porn and sex toys and stuff.” And she made this absolutely hilarious face of shock and embarrassment and said, “Really? I thought it was a thrift store or something; I was going to go there.” I haven’t stopped laughing about it since.

Enough work stories. I’ve had two nights of insomnia in a row, and I’m really groggy and out of it today. It it follows the usual pattern, I won’t be able to sleep tonight either but should be fine tomorrow night. Hopefully work will wake me up a bit, because I’m just buried in mist right now. Ugh.

Methinks I’ma start posting Rose Pale on Friday.

Music fangirling, stuff I forgot to mention, work stuff, dreams, randomness

My brother copied Apocalyptica’s Worlds Collide for me since he bought it recently. What he failed to tell me was that it was something like the most awesome CD of all time. There I was, listening along, thinking that it was really cool, despite that obnoxious guy from obnoxious Slipknot, and that I should buy it myself, when all of a sudden TILL FUCKING LINDEMANN starts singing A DAVID BOWIE SONG. Absolutely floored me. And just as I was recovering from that heart attack, three tracks later, on comes ADAM IWANTTOEATHIM GONTIER. I was like, HOW DID MY TWO FAVORITE BANDS IN THE FUCKING WORLD DONATE LEAD SINGERS TO THIS CD AND I NEVER KNEW????????? L claims he told me Adam was on there, but I don’t remember it. He certainly didn’t mention TILL SINGING BOWIE. Anyway, it was a very, very awesome experience.

So in response to this CD, I grabbed Lacuna Coil’s latest album (since their lead singer did a song on Worlds Collide), and I have to say… OMG boring. Not bad, just boring. Like, if there were ever hard rock designed to play in an elevator, this would be it. My first time through the CD, the music faded into the background to the point where I had to restart it and force myself to pay attention. My opinion may change if/when I get to know some of the individual songs better, but for now I don’t think I’m going to be getting any more of their stuff.

So I’ve switched to morning shifts mostly. They’re good shifts, but adjusting one’s sleep schedule is always such a pain. Especially because every day after work I’ve just been too tired to be productive. Yesterday I wasn’t, but I spent the last bit of work yesterday putting away a load of heavy boxes, which aggravated my carpal tunnel to the point where I couldn’t mouse, type, or draw after work. So I watched Shrek the Third (which my mom gave me for my birthday ^__^), hung around doing nothing for a while, and then went to bed. I got up twelve hours later and that was squee. You know, I never noticed before that when Lillian gets all dazed from bashing through the two brick walls wis her head, she’s humming My Favorite Things XD XD Oh, also I caught up on a webcomic.

Today is my day off, and I am working on HR finally. I freaking love HR.

Sometimes when Tokio is bored, she turns on my scanner.

Oh, I forgot to mention that at the zoo gift shop I got a big stuffed spider that is soOoOo cute. I named him Kuroudo, and right now he is sitting on top of my globe devouring the North Pole. Also, lions at the zoo will forever make me think of The Happening.

For some reason my neck keeps itching madly. It’s driving me crazy. Another annoying thing is that the sun is right in my face when I sit at the computer in this room at this time of day. I’ve never actually sat at the computer in this room at this time of day before, so this is my first experience wis this.

“So, Womsal Sti, what have you been up to lately?” “Well, yesterday I spent the day alternating between wearing myself out against Uhura and taking naps… after dark I picked my nose for a while and then went to bed.”

The other day at work, some stupid guy came up and said, “Do you have a bakery here?” To understand how stupid this is, you would have to be in my store and see how the deli and bakery are situated. Anyway, as I was trying to figure out how to tell this guy politely that he was an idiot, the fire alarm suddenly went off. Then the fire suppression system above out fryers and ovens went off, spraying this vinegar-smelling green liquid stuff all over the place. There was no fire; it happened because the construction crews that are remodeling our store had done stuff to the set-the-fire-alarm-off box and not reattached it properly. It took Joy, like, an hour and a half to clean up all the green stuff, and then after that the fryers and the oven refused to work. Ironically, the pizza oven, which we don’t use and which apparently hasn’t been used for, like, four years and which we’re getting rid of wis the remodel, worked fine.

My cat is a fuzzy jelly bean.

I dreamed that my parents had a lakehouse like my great-uncle’s, except it was a gigangtenormous mansion, and that on the top floor was a huge music area wis recording booths and all sorts of instruments. After that there was something about running from gunmen wis Michael Jackson through a mall.

I am Kenshin’s age. And I have no more to say right now.

Work bitching

It’s interesting (and annoying) how little it takes to put you behind during the last hour at work. Today at ten ’til leaving, some stupid woman came over and asked whether there was any hot soup left anywhere. I had to go open my big stupid mouth and tell her that I could warm some cold soup up for her in the microwave. I thought that wouldn’t be a problem — you know, throw it in the microwave, go do stuff I needed to do for a few minutes, come back, and give her the soup — but noOoOo, she had to take that to mean, “I can fulfill all your food-preparation needs for the rest of the week.” She wasted fifteen minutes of my life on retarded shit, pushing me into overtime so I had to leave dishes not put away and the dishwasher not cleaned out.

The best part was when she handed me this soup cup full of olives like she expected me to do something wis it. I explained that she needed to put the olives into one of the tubs that sit at the olive bar (you know… next to the olives) and put the stickered lid on it so they could ring it up at the register. She was like, “It seems like a shame to dirty another container…” I was like, WHATEVER, “Just make sure you grab one of the stickered lids so the checker has the code.” Then she said, “Is it cheaper to buy it like this or pre-packaged?” And I was like, RETARD, “It’s definitely cheaper to get the olives here by the pound than go look for them pre-packaged.” And she said, “No, I mean the soup.” And I was like WE WEREN’T DISCUSSING THE SOUP YOU STUPID BITCH. Yeth. She annoyed me that much. WTF olives in soup cup???

Yeah, so, AB, if you’re opening tomorrow, sorry.

Work stuff

So at work, we raise our hands and wait when we need a supervisor for anything. They walk around looking for raised hands. Lately we’ve been really low on floor support, and it’s not unusual to have someone at Command Center make a P.A. announcement that we need all sup.’s up and walking the floor. Well, a while back, the announcement went as follows: “I need all sup.’s and E.S.’s up and providing floor coverage… I’m seeing a lot of hands… there’s a… flower in the air… Again, I need all sup.’s and E.S.’s up and providing floor coverage…” Of course everyone looked around at this; somebody was indeed waving this giant stuffed flower around in the air trying to get a sup. over. I don’t know why it was so funny… just the way the guy at Command said it, I guess.

Oh, the Play-Doh! I totally forgot to record this! OK, so, I was activating someone’s phone, and throughout the entire thing I could hear her leetle daughter in the background being adorable. And at one point the daughter apparently comes up to the mom and says, “Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!” over and over again. The mom keeps telling her, “Honey, I’m on the phone; take it to daddy.” And finally she’s like, “Sam, pretend to eat her Play-Doh for a minute.” I laughed so hard.

Recently I asked a customer for her phone number and she said, “The phone number to the phone?” I wanted to say, “No, ma’am, the phone number to your ass.”

There was a pop-up on all our screens saying, “If you have found any keys, please turn them into security.” I thought we had enough security without having to transform our keys.

Somebody called the hourglass a “water glass.” Does it ever occur to people to wonder why the phone would display a picture of whatever odd thing they think the hourglass is? I mean, what would a water glass on a cell phone display signify? “Please don’t drop me in your drink?” Or a suicidal desire to be dropped into the customer’s drink rather than continue having to put up with said customer?

After a couple of weeks of back-to-back calls, we’ve slowed down like mad. Yesterday we were incredibly un-busy, the type of un-busy where they usually offer VTO at about 10, but for some reason they never offered it. This was actually a very good thing, because, while it was slow enough that I got plenty of writing done between calls, it forced me to work the whole shift. Productivity + money. Today we were even slower. At one point my computer started to go to sleep because it had been so long since my last call.

And then this conspiracy theorist calls. She thinks somebody’s coming into her home and using her home phone, or tapping her home phone, or linking her home phone to somebody’s Virgin Mobile phone. She doesn’t have a cell phone, and there is some kind of fraud going on. Why did we call her? Why did we leave her a message saying her phone had been shut off because she hadn’t added money to it? Why did we say that we were calling in regard to a cell phone number that isn’t hers? What kind of identity theft is this? She needs to talk to a supervisor, because she’s filed a police report.

I explained that we ask all our customers for an alternate contact or home phone number, and that sometimes those don’t get entered correctly; that somebody probably listed her home phone by mistake as their alternate contact number — a typo or something. We could easily remove her number from the system, into which it had doubtless been entered erroneously, and she would never be bothered about a cell phone that wasn’t hers again.

But, no, no, no, no, no, that wouldn’t do. We couldn’t delete anything until she’d talked to the police. She needed all the information about the person who had her number. This was so not legal. Her home phone wasn’t working. Somebody was stealing her identity. She needed to talk to a supervisor.

Obviously there’s nothing to do in a situation like that but summon the supervisor and let her deal wis the crazy woman. But then just as I raised my hand, up pops the notice that there is VTO available. So I got to watch while twelve million people ran up to Command Center and used up all the VTO while I was standing there wis all the blood draining from my airborne hand waiting for a supervisor to come take the most useless, pointless escalation in history. I was so irritated.

Fortunately, I got VTO about an hour later anyway. But seriously, this lady was freaking annoying.

Twelve counts of journal neglect

M has returned to her home that is here, and this makes me excessively happy. We been doin’ stuffs and it is delightful upon me ^__^ Yesterday we went to Jun-chan (which is not as good as Tako) and then watched almost half of Cowboy Bebop. It irritated my mom, but whatever. We wanted to go see TMNT, which, sadly, she has not seen, but it’s gone from the regular theaters and hasn’t yet arrived at the cheap theater. In other words, it’s not playing anywhere in town mou. Well, at least there are so many movies coming out this month that we shall see ^__^

I have been sick lately. It’s pretty well the same thing I recovered from, like, a month and a half ago, though it hasn’t gotten quite as bad as it did then and it’s lasting longer now. I think I gave it to Gregoreee back then and then he gave it back. And I think I’ve become addicted to this worthless cold medicine. I get all dizzy when I don’t take it regularly. At least thereby I know it does have some effect upon me XD

I’ve been considering putting up some more original stories. I have three that I could start posting; I wasn’t planning on putting any of them up because I wanted to get them finished first… but I am so undisciplined, I hardly work on stories that aren’t on my website… if they were on the site, I would force myself to work on them in the update order and they might actually get finished one of these decades. On the other hand, posting more shit that gets largely if not completely ignored is not the most glittering idea. We shall see.

Work notes… somebody called the hourglass an “hour dish.” Another guy (ESL) said when it appeared, “I see the sign… what sign is this…” And I freaking wish I had a penny for every time I ask a customer, “What type of phone do you have?” and they reply, “Virgin Mobile.” Good thing you’re calling Virgin Mobile customer service, then, isn’t it, retard?

My cat is so soft and round. Today she was standing in the bathroom, and for some reason she shook her head vigorously. It caused her front paws to slide apart. It was deathly adorable. Right now she is sitting here on my table an inch from my hand watching me type wis her ears threatening to go back in annoyance. I dunno how she can be so cute.

OK, I’ma stop writing this entry now and be productive.