Work stuff

So at work, we raise our hands and wait when we need a supervisor for anything. They walk around looking for raised hands. Lately we’ve been really low on floor support, and it’s not unusual to have someone at Command Center make a P.A. announcement that we need all sup.’s up and walking the floor. Well, a while back, the announcement went as follows: “I need all sup.’s and E.S.’s up and providing floor coverage… I’m seeing a lot of hands… there’s a… flower in the air… Again, I need all sup.’s and E.S.’s up and providing floor coverage…” Of course everyone looked around at this; somebody was indeed waving this giant stuffed flower around in the air trying to get a sup. over. I don’t know why it was so funny… just the way the guy at Command said it, I guess.

Oh, the Play-Doh! I totally forgot to record this! OK, so, I was activating someone’s phone, and throughout the entire thing I could hear her leetle daughter in the background being adorable. And at one point the daughter apparently comes up to the mom and says, “Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!” over and over again. The mom keeps telling her, “Honey, I’m on the phone; take it to daddy.” And finally she’s like, “Sam, pretend to eat her Play-Doh for a minute.” I laughed so hard.

Recently I asked a customer for her phone number and she said, “The phone number to the phone?” I wanted to say, “No, ma’am, the phone number to your ass.”

There was a pop-up on all our screens saying, “If you have found any keys, please turn them into security.” I thought we had enough security without having to transform our keys.

Somebody called the hourglass a “water glass.” Does it ever occur to people to wonder why the phone would display a picture of whatever odd thing they think the hourglass is? I mean, what would a water glass on a cell phone display signify? “Please don’t drop me in your drink?” Or a suicidal desire to be dropped into the customer’s drink rather than continue having to put up with said customer?

After a couple of weeks of back-to-back calls, we’ve slowed down like mad. Yesterday we were incredibly un-busy, the type of un-busy where they usually offer VTO at about 10, but for some reason they never offered it. This was actually a very good thing, because, while it was slow enough that I got plenty of writing done between calls, it forced me to work the whole shift. Productivity + money. Today we were even slower. At one point my computer started to go to sleep because it had been so long since my last call.

And then this conspiracy theorist calls. She thinks somebody’s coming into her home and using her home phone, or tapping her home phone, or linking her home phone to somebody’s Virgin Mobile phone. She doesn’t have a cell phone, and there is some kind of fraud going on. Why did we call her? Why did we leave her a message saying her phone had been shut off because she hadn’t added money to it? Why did we say that we were calling in regard to a cell phone number that isn’t hers? What kind of identity theft is this? She needs to talk to a supervisor, because she’s filed a police report.

I explained that we ask all our customers for an alternate contact or home phone number, and that sometimes those don’t get entered correctly; that somebody probably listed her home phone by mistake as their alternate contact number — a typo or something. We could easily remove her number from the system, into which it had doubtless been entered erroneously, and she would never be bothered about a cell phone that wasn’t hers again.

But, no, no, no, no, no, that wouldn’t do. We couldn’t delete anything until she’d talked to the police. She needed all the information about the person who had her number. This was so not legal. Her home phone wasn’t working. Somebody was stealing her identity. She needed to talk to a supervisor.

Obviously there’s nothing to do in a situation like that but summon the supervisor and let her deal wis the crazy woman. But then just as I raised my hand, up pops the notice that there is VTO available. So I got to watch while twelve million people ran up to Command Center and used up all the VTO while I was standing there wis all the blood draining from my airborne hand waiting for a supervisor to come take the most useless, pointless escalation in history. I was so irritated.

Fortunately, I got VTO about an hour later anyway. But seriously, this lady was freaking annoying.

Twelve counts of journal neglect

M has returned to her home that is here, and this makes me excessively happy. We been doin’ stuffs and it is delightful upon me ^__^ Yesterday we went to Jun-chan (which is not as good as Tako) and then watched almost half of Cowboy Bebop. It irritated my mom, but whatever. We wanted to go see TMNT, which, sadly, she has not seen, but it’s gone from the regular theaters and hasn’t yet arrived at the cheap theater. In other words, it’s not playing anywhere in town mou. Well, at least there are so many movies coming out this month that we shall see ^__^

I have been sick lately. It’s pretty well the same thing I recovered from, like, a month and a half ago, though it hasn’t gotten quite as bad as it did then and it’s lasting longer now. I think I gave it to Gregoreee back then and then he gave it back. And I think I’ve become addicted to this worthless cold medicine. I get all dizzy when I don’t take it regularly. At least thereby I know it does have some effect upon me XD

I’ve been considering putting up some more original stories. I have three that I could start posting; I wasn’t planning on putting any of them up because I wanted to get them finished first… but I am so undisciplined, I hardly work on stories that aren’t on my website… if they were on the site, I would force myself to work on them in the update order and they might actually get finished one of these decades. On the other hand, posting more shit that gets largely if not completely ignored is not the most glittering idea. We shall see.

Work notes… somebody called the hourglass an “hour dish.” Another guy (ESL) said when it appeared, “I see the sign… what sign is this…” And I freaking wish I had a penny for every time I ask a customer, “What type of phone do you have?” and they reply, “Virgin Mobile.” Good thing you’re calling Virgin Mobile customer service, then, isn’t it, retard?

My cat is so soft and round. Today she was standing in the bathroom, and for some reason she shook her head vigorously. It caused her front paws to slide apart. It was deathly adorable. Right now she is sitting here on my table an inch from my hand watching me type wis her ears threatening to go back in annoyance. I dunno how she can be so cute.

OK, I’ma stop writing this entry now and be productive.

Tokio attack mode and a work story

Cat’s new random victim is the dishes in the sink. Not quite as strange as an indentation in the carpet, but still rather odd, methinks.

Today at work I overheard the following:

“All right, can I get your ten-digit phone number starting with the area code? I’m sorry, that was 537-474– what was the rest? So your number’s 474-5320? Or 474-5308? 537-474-53208? No, ma’am, that’s too long. I need your phone number. 537-474-53– no, ma’am, that can’t be your number; that’s too long. No, I can’t leave off the area code to make it shorter. No, ma’am. No, ma’am, your number can’t be 537-474-53208. Because it’s too long. That’s eleven digits; your phone number is only going to be ten digits. That’s correct. No, I need the area code. That can’t be your phone number, ma’am. No, it’s not. No, I guarantee it’s not. There are no eleven-digit phone numbers. Ma’am, I challenge you to find any phone number in the U.S. that’s eleven digits long. You want to what? Talk to a supervisor? Oh, OK. Do you mind holding for a second?”

By this time everyone in the immediate vicinity is laughing so hard. It was freaking hilarious.